


The Named Ones

by EarlyRecoil



Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Author's Twist, Avengers AU, Bucky Barnes Feels, Cryogenics, Death, F/M, Family Dynamics, Father-Daughter Relationship, Fatherhood, Feels, Fluff and Angst, Growing Up, Post Civil War, Protective Bucky Barnes, Protective Steve Rogers, Real Life Problems, Slow Burn, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, normal daughter, years pass quick in cryo
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-17
Updated: 2016-08-19
Packaged: 2018-07-24 13:08:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 7
Words: 28,751
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7509570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EarlyRecoil/pseuds/EarlyRecoil
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sarah Corine Rogers has spent two days a week by Bucky's side since she was old enough to realize what his name on her hand meant. Her father had been honest with her from the moment she started asking about it. Steve came with her sometimes, but he usually came on his own to visit with his best friend. He respected her need for privacy as she would tell her soulmate about what was going on her life. She knew how weird it had to be for her father, but he handled the situation with a bittersweet demeanor. But the older she got, the more anxious she became about Bucky being able to be woken from cryo. Now at seventeen, she was more impatient than ever. Her schooling was close to an end and Steve was pressing her on the subject of college. She felt lost with what she was supposed to be doing, and trying to fit fun into her life. But Sarah couldn't stomach the idea of leaving Bucky alone. She felt just as frozen in time as the man she day dreamed about.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm a mess with my writing ADD right now.  
> I've always wanted to write a soulmate fic! Hope you all enjoy!  
> Let me know what you think about it!

_"Honey load up your questions_  
_And pick up your sticks and your stones_  
_And pretend I'm a shelter for heartaches_  
_That don't have a home_  
_Choose the words that cut like a razor_  
_And all that I'll say_

_Is fire away_  
_Take your best shot_  
_Show me what you got_  
_Honey, I'm not afraid_  
_Rear back and take aim_  
_And fire away"_

_\- Fire Away by Chris Stapleton_

 

 

**Introduction: Fire Away**

 

 

_**1940's Brooklyn, NY** _

 

 

_“I don't see why you're so worried, Buck? I mean, c'mon. A soulmate isn't your style.” Steve Rogers elbowed his best friend, Bucky Barnes, as they were walking home from school._

 

_“I know, punk.” The taller boy conceded. The brunette sighed and looked up as a group of girls walked past them. A pretty redhead grinned at him, and for once Bucky didn't grin back. His scowl was starting to worry Steve. They walked another block before Bucky began explaining his mood. “I just feel weird not havin' a name, Steve.”_

 

_Steve, though the skinnier and weaker one of the two, he had one. It was in a pretty script on the underside of his right arm. Peggy Carter. The name was there since his birth, and he tried not to talk much about it. Everyone was born or usually developed a name at some point. The blonder of the two boys just nervously scratched his head, thinking to himself that his mother would make a better person to talk to about this. Mrs. Rogers was a smart and very attentive mother who doted on both the boys._

 

_“Well, it will probably come to you later on. You'll be one of those suave older men who finds their soul mate who's got a bombshell younger woman.” Steve tried to make it sound like that was the best way to go, but Bucky didn't seem to be taking much comfort in it._

 

_“It's just hard. I know we're still young, but it's hard to find dames who are willing to give me the time of day. I mean, more than flirtation or just a quick kiss.” He stopped walking and motioned for Steve to follow him across the street towards the soda shop. They rushed and Steve wheezed with the effort to dodge past the automobiles. Bucky pulled out two dimes and gave them to the old man, who handed them two Cokes. The boys caught their breath and Bucky ignored the another group of girls who were smiling at him. He rolled his eyes and turned his back to them, ignoring the looks from Steve too._

 

_Despite how much more scientists and doctors were discovering about 'Soulmates' and their marks, those without marks were considered 'nameless'. Society was told that it didn't make a person any different than one who was 'named', but people drew their own conclusions. Bucky was suave, and he was magnetic. He drew people in without issue, and most girls didn't care if he was nameless. With a wink and a smile, he could talk even the most stubborn dame into a dance or a kiss._

 

_“Just, don't focus on it right now okay? Like you said, we're young! You have time! Stop worrying so much!” Steve bristled and took a gulp of his Coke. He genuinely hurt when his best friend hurt. They were brothers by heart, and Bucky always had his back. Steve was always being picked on for his small size but Buck would always come in swinging. Sometimes he lost too, and on those days they would show off their black eyes and leer at all the pretty girls. Some would gasp and grimace, others would take a minute to ask and hear how they'd scraped by. They were 'til the end of the line'._

 

_“Yeah, you're right.” The taller boy gave in, before sighing and turning back around to give another look at the group of girls who were seated at a table a few yards away. They were older, not by much though. All curls and pretty dresses, pink lip stick and malt shakes. There was a blonde who'd caught his eye and he gave her a small grin. “Besides, how bad can it really be with a bunch of stolen kisses from pretty dames?”_

 

_Steve chuckled and watched as his friend made his way over, standing his full height as he rested against the table and started making them all laugh with something witty. Steve had learned a long time ago that he was better off just letting his friend do this thing, taking notes and observing. Sure, he wished he could get some experience with some pretty girls...but he knew he'd meet his mate eventually. He'd meet a Peggy Carter and he'd do right by her. It was a certainty that made all the hard days bearable. His mother always praised him with how happy he would make her, because she'd raised such a gentleman. But James, Bucky didn't have that comfort._

 

_He didn't have a name. He didn't have a promise. He had to spend his days wondering who'd want to love a guy who spent his name kissing all the girls without commitment._

 

 

 

**Present Day**

 

**Medical Wing of Stark Tower**

 

 

“Mr. Rogers?” A soft and calm voice called to Steve as he stood in front of one of the large windows that made up the tower. His arms had been crossed, his face set in serious concentration. His palms were sweaty, and he felt very sick to his stomach. But when the voice called to him again, he turned and spotted the older woman in her scrubs. Her gray eyes were meeting his, and he could tell by her expression that the news wasn't good. His stomach bottomed out. Movement to his right reminded him that Sam Wilson had been waiting with him.

 

“What's going on?” He asked, walking closer to Doctor Singer. The older woman sighed and shook her head, putting her small hand on his arm.

 

“We did all we could to save Corina, but the toxemia got the best of her.”

 

Steve blinked and took a step towards the double doors which led to the surgery rooms, but Sam grabbed his arm to hold him back. His ears were ringing and his heart was pounding. No, no, no! His eyes began watering as he turned back to the Doctor. The Captain was panicked but the small woman was trying to calm him down by grabbing his large hands.

 

“What about the baby? What about my child?” His voice rose, tears spilling over. Sam was whispering his comforts as he was trying to get his friend and leader to breathe. Doctor Singer nodded and gave him a quick smile.

 

“The baby is being checked and attended to. Her lungs weren't quite fully developed but she's on a breather and seems to being doing as good as we could hope for right now.”

 

Steve went very still and felt the weight lift off of him as Sam's grip didn't let up. He blinked and just started nodding, letting out a shuddered breath. Sam spoke up, realizing Steve wasn't really able to say much at the moment.

 

“When can he see his baby girl?” Same sounded sullen, but hopeful. They spoke about how the babe would in in the ICU for a few weeks but as soon as they got the little one settled that evening, Steve would be able to come in and see his child. Sam continued talking, making a point to squeeze his friend and absorb as much information as he could.

 

Steve, on the other hand, was out of it. He was thinking about Corina, and how the SHEILD agent was now dead. He was a single father now, with no idea how to raise a kid or be a good father. Corina had been hesitant to go through with being a mom, considering they'd only slept together once. But he'd threatened her with hell and high water, begging her to reconsider. In the end she'd bent, informing him that he would be just as involved as him. It was a no-brainer to the super soldier, he'd always wanted to be a father. He'd just always imagined having them with Peggy...

 

In no way had him and Corina been in love, but they liked each other enough to get along and divide the responsibilities. Granted, Steve was more eager than the blonde agent had been. But he'd noticed her calculative demeanor softening the closer she'd gotten t her due date. He'd even thought her radiant with her huge belly and the little bit of weight she'd gained. Sam and Clint had made sure to take lots of pictures when they could sneak them. Especially at their baby shower, which Agent Hill had organized. Corina had just been a woman, big and pregnant, and Steve felt his throat tighten when he remembered how she had dropped her guard long enough to grab for his hand when he'd been standing behind her as she read cards. It hadn't been much, but it made him have some hope.

 

Since Peggy had passed away, he'd just floated around and wondered what he'd do now. But there had been the office party, and the drinks afterwards. Their group had dwindled down to just the two of hem and she'd invited him to her place. He'd found out her soulmate had died, too. He'd been another agent who'd been killed during a mission a few years prior. After he woke up in her bed alone with a note from her to do what he needed and to let himself out, they never spoke again until two months later when she'd dropped the news on him. It had been what his sou had needed. The Avengers were trying to come back together after they had been at war with each other, Bucky was back on ice and Peggy was gone. His purpose was dwindled down to almost nothing until he found out he was going to be a father.

 

Then Corina started getting sick, and she was still almost a month and a half from her due date. She'd called him, and he'd left training to help her from their shared apartment to bring her back to the tower. With an hour she was admitted and put on observation. Her health started declining quickly and she had been rushed into the operating room for an emergency c-section. They'd both had to sign papers when they admitted her that if it came down to saving one or the other, they were to save their child. It had been such a sight, seeing Corina not hesitate one moment to sign her name under her wishes.

 

And now, here he was. His baby was being taken care of, and he couldn't stop the silent tears as his friend was comforting to him. Sam was dragging him to a seat and trying to get him to focus.

 

“Captain!” He shook him, and Steve blinked the water out of his eyes. The tears had splattered all over his navy blue zip up hoodie. His white tee shown the evidence of his emotions, too. He was just in civilian dress, hair disheveled. Jeans and sneakers. Sam was similarly dressed, having been in the gym with him when Corina had called.

 

“Sam.” Steve replied hoarsely. His blue eyes met his friend's dark ones, and the black man was crouching in front of him. The two soldiers shared a knowing look, as Sam gripped both of Steve's upper arms.

 

“Did you hear what the doctor said about your baby?” The man was trying to smile for his Captain, to be as encouraging as he could with the loss of the child's mother. The Captain shook his head, looking slightly ashamed.

 

“It's okay, man.” He assured him, patting his shoulder before he continued. “Steve, you have a baby girl.” The information hit Steve like a train. Again, the soldier from out of time, was breathless. His brows rose and more tears came to him. He found the strength to smile, exhaling shakily and nodding.

 

“Holy shit.” Steve mumbled, rolling the knowledge around in his head. “I have a daughter! We wanted a girl.”

 

Corina had insisted that she was sure the baby was a girl. She'd said she'd had a feeling, intuition. Steve wasn't going to argue because he had felt himself melt at the idea of a blue eyed little girl who had curly blond hair like her mother, and a dazzling smile like his mother's. He'd hoped she'd inherit his morals and passion for justice. They requested unisex gifts, but they secretly bought a few girl's outfits and bottles with pink bows on them. But, they hadn't picked out a name. Corina had been firm that it made no sense naming a child until they'd held it and had a chance to meet her. He hadn't argued with her about that, either.

 

So now, it was all on him. The idea was daunting.

 

Two hours later, a few more of the Avengers had shown up to show Steve their support and say their goodbyes to the deceased mother. Tony had stopped by, giving him a stiff embrace and was genuinely saddened for him. Tony hadn't needed to explain his need to leave, he wasn't good in these situations, and they were still mending their friendship. Clint got there with his wife as soon as he could, sharing tears with him as he offered sincere words and fierce support. His wife was upset too. They were parents and they couldn't fathom losing each other. But Clint congratulated him on his daughter, welcoming him into the club and offered his assistance whenever Steve needed it.

 

Natasha and Wanda showed up, Thor in tow. Natasha was similar to Tony, but Wanda enveloped him with her warmth and offered her assistance whenever he needed it, as well. Thor had just shared a sad look with him, embracing him and telling him that they were brothers, and brother's had each other's back. It had touched the super soldier, and he choked back his emotions in front of the demigod. Steve ended up asking Natasha and Wanda if they could go to the apartment to get some things he was going to need for his daughter. They took his key and left, promising to be back as soon as they could. After a while, his team started saying their good byes and he was relieved to see them go. Sam stayed the latest after Nat and Wanda dropped the pre-packed diaper bag that Corina had gotten ready in case of an emergency a few weeks ago.

 

Inside was some baby clothes and diapers, bottles and binkies in case she couldn't breast feed. There were burping cloths and various other things. But it all looked odd to him, wondering when he'd get to use any of it. It made him feel a little more prepared though. Once Sam left, reminding him to call him for any reason at any time if he needed him.

 

But now he was alone, surrounded by light and waiting for the nurse to come and get him to see his daughter. So, the man leaned back in the uncomfortable seat and closed his eyes.

 

“Captain?”

 

Steve's head shot up off the back of the chair, his alertness returning to him instantly. He blinked the grit out of his eyes. He'd not realized he'd fallen asleep, and there was a nurse waiting on him with a soft expression on her face. She was young, Hispanic and her black hair was pulled back into a sleek pony tail. Her pink scrubs made her look younger. He yawned and stood, grabbing the diaper bag. He easily towered over her. She gave him an understanding smile and motioned for him to follow her.

 

“You ready to see your daughter?” She asked kindly, and he nodded, ready to run. She set a fast pace, wanting to waste none of his time. She escorted him into a room where they took the diaper bag from him and put him into a gown that went over his clothes. They put a weird cap on him and a mask, carefully fitting surgical gloves onto his hands. He was shaking now, scared about what it meant to be taking all these precautions. The nurse dressed the same, and led him into a room where he seen machinery and a little encased incubator with a tiny baby sleeping inside. Her diaper was way too big for her, and she had an IV's inserted into the top of her head. The nurse explained everything, reassuring him not to be alarmed.

 

But his focus was on the tiny baby girl who entranced him and scared him more than anything at the same time.

 

“She's so tiny.” He interrupted the nurse, and the woman just smiled.

 

“Yeah, but she's a fighter, Captain.” The woman's sentiment was sincere as she pushed him closer to the incubator and pointed to the openings on each side. “You can touch her and talk to her, take your time here. This room is reserved for you and her. We'll bring in a bed for you here soon. But if you don't mind, there's a lot of paper work that needs done. Would you mind if I bring it in and I can help you go through it?” She was apologetic, but Steve nodded and carefully began inserting his hands into the holes in the plastic cover of his daughter's bed.

 

Though he had gloves on, the moment his large hands gently soothed over the premature baby, he felt more tears overwhelm him. He was extra careful not to wake her, seeing the tubes in her little nose. Her skin was yellowish, which the nurse had explained she was jaundice. It happened a lot. Steve knew instantly his world now revolved around this little person. His little girl. The man looked around really quick, taking in the room and wondering how she could sleep with all the beeping and whirring. He spotted a plain placard on the foot og the bed, saying 'My Name is ', and My Mommy is Corina Thomas and My Daddy is Steve Rogers.'

 

His blue eyes skirted back to his baby girl, realizing she had yet to be named. He panicked for a moment, letting the infant wrap her hand around the tip of his index finger. It barely circled around it.

 

“Are you alright?” The same nurse asked, and he sighed. He looked up at her and didn't care as his watered.

 

“I have no idea what I should name my daughter.” Steve confessed. “Corina was supposed to be here to do like she always did, take charge and tell me what I should be doing.” He licked his lips under his mask and sniffled some. The nurse looked close to tears, herself. She nodded and set her clip board down to come around to him and put her hand on his back to offer comfort to him.

 

“Well, some people like to name their children after people who made a difference in their lives. Mothers and fathers, siblings, grandparents.” That made sense ans Steve nodded, trying to pull himself together. He looked back at his daughter and blinked some tears out of his eyes. Before he could stop himself, he began speaking.

 

“Sarah.” He rasped out.

 

“Sarah?” The nurse asked, grabbing her clip board.

 

“Yeah, Sarah Corine Rogers.” He cleared his throat and blinked some more, feeling himself starting to pull it together. “After my mother and her's.” It made perfect sense to him, and the nurse was smiling behind her mask.

 

“Beautiful choice, Cap.”

 

Steve just nodded, and began answering questions the nurse needed answers to. He signed the birth certificate and was given loads of papers that explained Sarah's issues and possible future issues due to her premature birth. After half an hour of answering questions, he was left alone with his daughter. He sat down in the chair they'd brought to him so he could rest while holding her tiny hand. His eyes kept searching her over, he'd already counted her fingers and toes. All twenty were there. She'd done nothing but sleep, and when the doctor came in to check on her and draw blood, Steve had to resist the urge to strangle him when his sweet girl screamed hoarsely. His ears rang and he fought the want to cry with her. The doctor gave him an understanding look, explaining how he needed to so he could run tests.

 

Finally, they brought the bed in and informed him that if he wanted to sleep, now would be a good time. He wanted to stay up, but his body was spent. His head hurt, and Steve knew he'd be no good to his baby if he was run ragged. So with litter persuasion, he hoisted himself into the bed and did his best to keep his hospital garb on. He waved a thank you as the nice nurse, Nadine, who lowered the lights and made sure he had everything he needed. Steve rolled onto his side and stared at his daughter, wishing his best friend was here with him. He had missed Bucky more than ever through Corina's pregnancy, but now he felt alone and unsure of what the future held. He wanted to share this with his friend, the only brother he'd ever had really.

 

Sam was a best friend, but he didn't know Steve the way Bucky did. Bucky would have probably cried with him, then told him to man up. He would have made comments about Sarah being small like her dad used to be. He would have just...he would just know what to say to him right now. As he laid there and thought about these things, Steve felt himself drifting off to sleep.

 

 

 

When little Sarah Rogers was five days old, Steve got to actually hold her for the first time. Nadine took pictures for him, some videos and made sure everything was properly documented for him. She helped him fill out her baby book about her birth, and even wrote in a nice note for the girl to read when she got older. Steve had read it later, and was very touched at how nice the nurse was.

 

On day seven, he got to feed Sarah.

 

Day thirteen was when he allowed Sam to take him out to dinner, and he swung by the cryo lab to visit Bucky. He sat beside his friend's bed for at least an hour and caught his friend up to par on the newest Rogers. He was relieved that they had found a way to keep him in cryo that didn't involve ice or a sealed off tube. It was a liquid compound they pumped into him, which had the same effect as the traditional cryo. Granted Bucky was immobile, he'd been told that some studies shown that people in coma-like states might be able to still hear their surroundings. He didn't cry when he told him about Corina. But Steve cried when he told Bucky about his beautiful little green eyed girl who could barely wrap her hand around his finger tip.

 

A month after Sarah was born, her lungs were developed enough to where she was taken off support. The nurses and doctors praised the infant for how quickly she was bouncing back from being so sickly. Steve assured them that she got it honest, he'd been a sickly kid too. Her eyes were open a lot now, and she liked to stare at his face and reach for his chin as he cuddled her into his chest.

 

Two months after Sarah was born, Tony had moved them into the tower. He'd prepared Steve's old floor with everything from the apartment and gave him no say in the matter. The billionaire insisted with the baby, he'd need support. He'd hired a woman to come in and help Steve adjust to the full time responsibilities of being a single father. The Avengers seemed to rally around the infant, though. Steve wasn't amiss to notice how Tony would coo at her when he thought nobody was watching. Even Natasha was going out of her way to visit with the little girl.

 

A few times a week, Steve would take Sarah down to the cryo lab and visit with Bucky. He'd feed her as he caught Bucky up on everything. He'd explain how hard it was, but so rewarding. Steve would laugh at his own stories of dirty diapers and how much help he was getting from the team. He'd also mention how much he missed his friend, and hoped they could heal his mind soon. Wanda was working a lot with the doctors and specialists, trying to figure out how to put up a mental block or go in and erase the memories of his time with Hydra. They were looking for any option. Tony had allowed Bucky to be housed here, as apart of a truce with Steve.

 

Months seemed to fly by as Steve and his daughter grew together, and he got them on routines. He allowed her to be baby sat and returned to working, taking extra care not to get hurt. The media still didn't know much about his daughter, except he now had one. He kept her hidden away from cameras and nosy photographers. And a lot of questions were asked, some which made him very uncomfortable.

 

_How was he dealing with an infant while being an Avenger?_

 

_Who was her mother? Did she have a soul mark yet?_

 

 _Who's her soulmat_ e?

 

He would usually glower at those who asked these kind of questions, and it always sent them running. But it did make him wonder, she had get to develop a name. He'd always check her at bath time, as he cooed to her and made silly faces which made her crack a grin at him. He loved her smile, and knew that if she did get named, her soulmate would love it too. That was a bittersweet feeling, but he had to keep some faith to keep him sane. Sarah filled the void in him that Peggy's death had caused him. When Peggy passed, her name had faded to a dull bluish gray. No longer the vibrant black script he'd grown up staring at for hours on end. He prayed his daughter would never have to know the pain of being left alone like that.

 

 


	2. Chapter 1: I Found

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, all my girly feels are coming out for Daddy Steve.   
> Ugh, I can't even deal with this.   
> Hope you enjoy it!   
> Next chapter will actually kick off Sarah's take over for the story.  
> Let me know what you think? xoxo

“ _I'll use you as a warning sign_  
That if you talk enough sense then you'll lose your mind  
And I'll use you as a focal point  
So I don't lose sight of what I want  
And I've moved further than I thought I could  
But I miss you more than I thought I would  
And I'll use you as a warning sign  
That if you talk enough sense then you'll lose your mind..”

_I Found by Amber Run_

 

 

 

 

**Chapter 1: I Found**

 

 

It was a month before Sarah's first birthday and Steve was on his way home from a mission with Clint and Natasha. It had been an easy hostage negotiation that required some muscle and stealth. No longer were they willing to compromise with terrorist groups in hostage situations. The targets were taken out and handcuffed, the hostages were checked over and sent to their homes and families in one piece. It was a success and he was feeling happy about it. He'd been gone a few days and he was missing his little girl terribly. Clint told him that he'd better get used to it, because it never got easier.

 

They were three hours out of New York when Steve slumped in his jump seat on the small jet, letting himself settle down enough for a nap.

 

When he awoke, it was Natasha who was gently shaking him and informing him they were home. He smiled at her, rising and stretching as they hit the cement on top of the Avenger's tower. The trio entered the elevator and were quiet as they descended down to the living area. When the elevator dinged, they all stepped out and went their own ways. Steve was greeted by an amused Thor who had his daughter in his bulky arms. Steve felt his face pale for just a second before seeing his daughter's face light up when she seen him. Thor was grinning from ear to ear, careful to be gentle with the little mortal.

 

“Tiny Lady Sarah awoke a few hours ago. I was happy to tend to her needs. She has been fed and changed.” The demigod sounded formal but smitten as he handed her over to her father. Steve smiled at him gratefully.

 

“Thanks, Thor.” Steve smiled at his daughter as he buried his nose in her cheeks and made silly noises, peppering her face with kisses and soft words. The man was shameless when it came to her.

 

“No need for thanks, Brother Steve, the little princess is a true gem to behold. Lady Sarah is a fine child who will grown up to be a courageous as her appetite!” His remark make both men chuckle. It was true, the baby seemed to devour her weight in formula and cereal, along with some soft foods. She would be weened off her bottle soon, and Steve was kind of sad about it. He enjoyed snuggling her close and feeding her. She always burped and dozed off to sleep, hand clutched where ever she could on him.

 

“I'm sure you're right, she's a little bottomless pit.” With that, he motioned his leave and took her towards the elevator to their floor. She simpered and blew spit bubbles as she cooed and gurgled happily to be with her daddy. He grinned at her and chuckled, stepping out onto their floor and heading for his bedroom. He gave her a binky and set her in her pen. She rolled onto her back and attacked the rubber pacifier. Steve made sure she was alright as he hurried into his bathroom and stripped out of his Captain America uniform. He hissed at a few new sore spots, but made quick work of a shower making sure to keep a well trained ear on Sarah.

 

When he stepped out, he towel dried and grabbed his sweat pants he'd left on the sink a few days ago. He put them on and brushed his teeth, before shutting off the bathroom light and returning to his baby girl. He hoisted her up and padded to his kitchenette, making her a fresh bottle and warming it before bringing her to his bed. Steve sat down and turned the TV on, finding a M.A.S.H marathon. It was almost two in the morning and Sarah should be asleep or her schedule would be all messed up.

 

“Alright Lady Sarah, time for a snack and back to bed. Daddy's tired and you're supposed to be asleep right now.” He said softly to her, and she didn't argue as she grabbed the bottle and helped him hold it up some. Steve turned his lamp off and let the sounds of the TV drone on. He carefully positioned them and got comfortable, letting her eat and trying to to flinch as she scraped her tiny nails against the skin on his chest. She managed to gouge him good, and he flinched. “Ouch!” He grunted and she suddenly burst out with a giggle. Steve gave her a humored look, seeing her smiling around the nipple of the bottle, formula running down her chin. He laughed and began a game of him saying ouch and her cackling.

 

That lasted for at least five minutes before she was done and he tossed her burp cloth over his shoulder. He patted her back until she burped, and then he set everything aside so they could sleep. Steve had one of the attachable bed-side baby beds. It allowed him to be close to her, but she was safe enough to where he wouldn't roll onto her or something while he slept. He hummed to her, kissing her soft sandy blonde hair as she drifted off to sleep. When she was snoozing soundly, he placed her on 'her side of the bed' as he called it. Steve made sure she could roll around and then situated himself. His hand was extended to hers. Sarah's tiny hand gripping his fingers tightly as he drifted off, content to be home and with his daughter.

 

 

Steve jerked awake as Sarah let out a blood curdling scream. His heart rate shot up in a split second and he sat up to turn the light on, looking around for any potential threats to his baby. Once he realized nobody was in his bedroom, he gathered the baby up in his arms and began talking her.

 

“Hey, baby whats wrong?” He tried soothing her, but she kept screaming and reaching out blindly. Her green eyes were shut with the force of her crying, her little face was red as she continued to scream. Steve reached for her pacifier and took a moment to look her over, wondering if she had pinched herself somehow or scratched herself. The soldier tried to remain calm as he searched her, even checking her diaper until he seen her right hand. The whole outer side was red and inflamed. His brows furrowed, that hadn't been there earlier. Steve carefully grabbed her hand to look at it better, and she wailed out and kicked her legs in protest. He frowned and kissed her forehead as he stood up and laid her down just long enough to throw on a shirt.

 

Sarah was still screaming as he got her to the medical floor, Nadine greeting him with a tired expression before the baby's screams rang shrill in her ear. Steve gave her an apologetic look and ushered him into a private room.

 

“What's wrong with the little one, Cap?” Nadine asked as he sighed and held the baby's arm up so the nurse could see her hand.

 

“We went to bed and then she woke me up screaming. Took me a minute to notice her little hand.” From what Steve could tell, it looked like a rash. Maybe Sarah was allergic to something? He was trying to mentally go through what it could be when Nadine gasped, her eyes going wide. His too went wide as he jerked out of a panic response.

 

“What? What's wrong?” He said, voice raising as he pulled Sarah's hand up to look at it. In the middle of the red skin was a darkness starting to form. Was it bruising? “Is that a bruise?” He asked, confused but Nadine's shock was quickly turning into a wide smile.

 

“No! She's getting her name!” The nurse buzzed with happiness as she quietly clapped her hands together. Steve's face must have went pale because Nadine reigned in her excitement and gave him a nervous laugh. Sarah's screaming was calming down to normal crying and whimpers as she tried to bury into her father's chest. Steve pulled her close and held her little hand, eyes glued to the slow forming bruise like mark. His throat felt tight. Sweat was beading on his neck and his hairline. He'd not yet had her for a year before someone's claim would be on her. A stranger. He felt like he was going to pass out, and Nadine was starting to get concerned too.

 

“Captain Rogers?” She asked, as she reached for the baby. Steve let her take Sarah as his ears started ringing and he felt woozy. His head was fuzzy and the last thing he seen was Nadine holding Sarah as she reached for her Daddy.

 

 

“Steve? Hey man, wake up.” A sharp sting on the side of Steve's face got him to open his eyes as he blinked under the bright fluorescent lights. He groaned and sat up, feeling his head pounding as his blurry vision cleared. The first person he focused on was Tony, who had messy bed hair and his black pajama pants on, with a matching tee shirt. He had on his house shoes and he looked thoroughly amused.

 

“Where's Sarah?” Steve asked, and then Nadine popped up from behind Tony. Sarah was asleep in her arms, pacifier in her mouth. There was a pink blanket draped over her body so she wouldn't get chilled in the cool temperature they kept the medical ward. Steve frowned, but was relieved to see his baby girl wasn't crying any longer. Then his eyes got wide, remembering why he'd brought her down to begin with. That's when Tony started laughing and Nadine looked rather worried, calmly inching towards the door with the baby. It was well known that Tony took every chance to rile the Captain up. Steve gave him an annoyed look before he groaned.

 

“You passed out, Cap.” Tony grinned, trying to get himself under control. “Poor Nadine buzzed me and said you had fainted. Bam, out cold!” He chuckled a little more before he started sobering up.

 

“Nadine?” Steve asked, standing and reaching for his daughter. Nadine gave him a sympathetic smile before stepping forward to gently deposit the girl into his arms. He would prefer to not read his daughter's hand with Tony present, but by the smirk on the man's face, he already knew what it said.

 

“Steve...” Tony drew his attention, suddenly very serious. The man's dark eyes met his, before skirting down to the little girl. “We will deal with this as a team. So, don't panic. We'll figure it out.” The sincere statement oddly comforted the super soldier, and it also worried him. Steve gently began pulling the blanket away and reached for Sarah's tiny right hand. He was shaky as he tilted it around and read the very small, somewhat messy script. The air went very stale in the room, and he froze like stone. A confused wave rolled through him, before he blinked rapidly, wishing for it to change into something else. _Anything_ else.

 

 _ **James Buchanan Barnes**_.

 

The scrawl was one he'd read a million times. From school to the military. He thought of shared jokes and notes passed in class. He thought of post cards sent from Europe after Bucky had landed in the middle of a war. His stomach twisted and he felt moisture collecting in his eyes. Steve was gentle with his daughter as he covered her back up. But he wanted to march to the cryo lab and punch his friend in the face. He wanted to scream, he was already in tears.

 

But...

 

Steve remembered how Bucky would eye Peggy's name on his arm with jealousy. Not a hostile jealousy, but a sad longing. How he'd fill his spare time with countless women and spend hours ranting about how stupid the whole soulmate thing was. How the magnetic young man would drink himself into a stupor at the bar, then stumble back to their apartment and cry himself to sleep. How he would ignore the conversations about 'mates, and excuse himself when the conversations were turned to him. Steve remembered how being nameless had been so painful to his best friend.

 

The soldier was torn, but he was breathing and nodded to himself.

 

“Wow.” He grunted, and Tony shot a relieved look to Nadine.

 

“That's better than what I said. My reaction was much more colorful, Cap.” Tony replied, and Steve sighed. He just gazed at his sleeping daughter and felt himself slump some.

 

“You know I don't want that language around her, Stark.”

 

Tony mock saluted him and yawned, stepping towards the door and giving pretty Nadine a wink.

 

“Well, if there needs to be blood shed, just know I'm in your corner. I am livid myself, but hopefully there will be a happy ending here.” Tony rambled on, before sighing and waving bye to them. The door shut behind him and Nadine looked awfully out of place. Steve groaned and gave her a small smile.

 

“I'm still debating on killing him.” Steve was sure Nadine knew which he that he was referring to. The woman grinned and tucked the blanket a little tighter around the sleeping girl. Her head tilted to the side as she touched the babe's soft, pudgy cheek.

 

“Don't make this a bad thing, Captain Rogers.” She whispered, before stepping back to look at his face. Steve mimicked her head tilt. “Everything happens for a reason, and if Barnes is her soul mate, it puts you in a unique position to help her and him. You can let her get to know him through you, because nobody knows how long he will be under still. Be honest with her, answer her questions. She'll be naturally drawn to him...” Nadine trailed off and her tan cheeks turned darker with a blush. Steve gave her a small smile.

 

“Thank you Nadine, you're always around when I need some help. Really, thank you.” He told her softly, before licking his lips. “It'll take time to work my head around, but I'm going to try for her..and him.” His voice cracked, but he reigned it in and motioned for Nadine to open the door. She jumped to it, smiling as he walked past her.

 

“No problem, Cap.” The Hispanic nurse smiled again, patting him on the arm before stepping away to go on about her morning. Steve took a step, but impulsively called after her.

 

“Call me Steve.” He said a little louder than usual, and he watched as the short woman stopped in her tracks and turned to give him a smile he'd never seen from her before. It was small, but it made her honey brown eyes sparkle. Steve returned it before slightly bowing and continuing to the elevator to get him and his baby girl back to bed.


	3. Sleep Baby Sleep

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the first chapter of Sarah's POV.   
> I adore this girl already, folks.   
> (T.T)   
> Sorry for any typos or mistakes I missed,   
> don't hesitate to leave a comment and tell me what you think! <3

“ _Sleep baby sleep_  
What are you waiting for?  
The morning's on its way  
You know it's only just a dream  
Oh sleep baby sleep  
I lie next to you  
The beauty of this mess is that it brings me close to you

 _I could be the one to give you all that I am_  
With a gentle touch and a foolish love  
You could be the one to carry all my troubles away  
With the words you say, all I need to hear so”

_Sleep Baby Sleep by Broods_

 

 

**Chapter 2: Sleep Baby Sleep**

 

**Seventeen Years Later**

 

The after noon sun was filtering through the blinds in the window, and the steady beeping of various monitors was drown out by an iPhone which was plugged into a iHome dock. The music was mostly instrumental. Lots of pianos and violins, meant to create a calming atmosphere. The Cryogenics Lab room was spacious but not too big. There was room for a hospital bed and the essential equipment, a love seat and a round table which held flowers and various random stuffed animals and cards. Some of the cards were opened an on display. Each with their own worn age, some were newer. The one's which weren't open and set up, were in their envelopes in a neat stack. Seventeen birthday cards, seventeen Christmas cards, ten Valentine's Day cards, and various pictures. James Buchanan Barnes would have a lot to look at when he woke up, eventually.

 

His body lay, immobile, in the freshly laundered bed. It was the best that could be provided. It stimulated his muscles and skin, making sure he didn't waste away or get bed sores. Two sticky round pads for a brain activity monitor were stuck to his temples, a finger on his right arm had a heart rate monitor on it. His color was good, just pale from having been out of the sun for so long. James looked like at any second he would open his eyes and roll out of bed, but he wouldn't.

 

A small sigh cut through the music, where a young woman was curled on the love seat. Her thick head of dirty blonde hair, piled into a messy bun, was hanging off the side of her head. She seemed to hardly take up any room on the small love seat Her skinny jean clad legs were tucked under her, the moccasin-like boots she'd worn were forgotten in the floor. Her torso was covered with an old blue plaid button up that once belonged to her father, a tight white tee shirt underneath. Around her neck was a pair of banged up and old dog tags, over a hundred years old. The name on them could only belong to the man in the bed. They has been a gift from her father on her sixteenth birthday.

 

Sarah Rogers sighed again, putting the book she had in her hands off to the side. Tony and Bruce were adamant she read more material on physics, but it just gave her a headache. She believed they were in denial that she just wasn't born to be a talented intellect or scientist. Her large green eyes scanned over James, the worry lines on her forehead smoothing out. She padded to his side and sat on the bed, noting how stubbly he was getting.

 

“Now Sgt Barnes, you know it's against regulation to have that much facial growth.” She mumbled to herself as she got up to get into his personal care tote she kept under his bed. She dug out a new razor and some shaving cream. She grabbed a fresh towel and a cup of warm water, retaking her seat beside him. Sarah balanced the cup between her legs as she uncapped the razor and gently wet the man's face. “You're slacking, sir.”

 

Like she'd seen her father do a thousand times, she lathered his face up and gently began running the blade against the grain of his hair. Her fingers skimmed the familiar shape of his jaw, before she'd stop to wipe an area clean. Sarah smiled to herself as the sunlight cast a handsome glow on him. The seventeen year old girl began humming, focusing on her task. When she was done, and not a nick made, she put everything away and rejoined James on his bed. Her left hand picked his right one up, tilting it and reverently swiped her thumb over her twirly scripted name marked on his hand. Her heart squeezed and she knew the feeling well.

 

Sarah felt full and empty all at the same time. Her youth having always being filled with the closed eyes of James Bucky Barnes. She lowered her head and kissed the scars on his knuckles.

 

 

 

 

_“Daddy?” A five year old Sarah, in a bright yellow sundress, grabbed her father's attention. Her head tilted up, eyes squinting against the bright summer sun above them in Central Park. Steve Rogers looked down at her, drawing his attention away from his girlfriend Nadine._

 

_“Yes, baby?” He asked and reached down for her. He lifted her up, draping her on his hip as he kissed her nose. Sarah held up her hand, showing him the name on it._

 

_“What's this Daddy?” Her green eyes pinned his and waited as he cast a look to Nadine, who gave him and encouraging smile. Steve sighed and kissed the marked hand, before holding it in his._

 

_“That's a name.” He informed her, and Sarah made a face._

 

_“Is it my name?” The child was too serious for her own good, and the two adults chuckled._

 

_“No sweetie, it's not your name.” Nadine spoke up, playfully tickling the little girl before wrapping her arm around Steve's waist._

 

_“It's the name of your soul mate.” Her father said, giving her a smile and trying to lighten his mood. The confusion on Sarah's face was unmistakable, so he went into explaining. “Your soul mate is the one you're destined to fall in love with. You know, like Ariel and Prince Eric.” His eye brows raised as he watched his daughter slowly putting one and one together. Her lips pursed before she threw her arms up dramatically._

 

_“I have a Prince? DADDY!” She gasped, before cupping her cheeks and making a surprised face. Steve barked out laughing and kissed her cheeks._

 

_“Yes, something like that.” He fought the frown on his face as he thought of the man who's name was on his little girl's hand. “A soulmate is someone whom you're going to spend the rest of your life with. You'll get married and become a mommy.”_

 

_Sarah grinned and giggled, looking at Nadine and smiling at her. Sarah reached for her and Nadine didn't hesitate to scoop her up and plant a kiss on her forehead._

 

_“So I'll be like you? A mommy and in love with a guy like Daddy?” The smile on Nadine's face softened some, and the woman's dark honey eyes met Steve's. A blush colored her cheeks and before she could answer, Steve spoke up._

 

_“Yes, you'll be just like Nadine.”_

 

 

The memory was a nice one, and Sarah just sat there and held James' hand.

 

“I suppose I should catch you up on what I've been doing since Wednesday!” She exclaimed and licked her lips. “Well, graduation is literally just around the corner so Dad took me to order my class ring. I had to order my gown and make sure invitations got sent out, I put yours on the table in case you find the time to drop by.” A sly smile broke out onto her face, and she squeezed the warm hand in hers. “Tony is hosting a graduation party at the Belasco. Dad was horrified to find out it would be a costume party!” Sarah giggled. “He'll wear the Captain America suit all day long, but the idea of dressing up for the party scares me to death.”

 

The teen hummed to herself for a moment, before continuing on.

 

“It's Phantom of the Opera themed, that's my favorite musical. I've seen it at least half a dozen times in the past two years.” Her eyes strayed to James' right shoulder. The missing limb made her frown, not because it bothered her, but because he reminded her of the Phantom in his own way. She'd read everything there was about the man before her. Sometimes it worried her, made her cry even. All those horrible things he'd been forced to do. Media had branded the Winter Soldier a monster, and in a way, he was. But The Winter Soldier wasn't the man her father described with a fond smile. No, James wasn't a monster.

 

But the blonde recovered quickly and she squeezed the hand again.

 

“It's not going to be too big of an ordeal, there's not much room but Tony insisted. I wasn't about to argue.” The music playing was a particularly beautiful melody, where it incorporated the sound of rain and she yawned. “I picked out my dress for that too, and all I can say is that it will be a spectacle. I'll be surprised if I don't kill myself in it by falling face first down stairs.”

 

And this is how her time was spent with the man. Sarah would tell him about her day to day, making sure to straighten him up and keep him tidy. If his nails needed trimmed, she would do that. She shaved his face, cut his hair, read to him. The nurses gave up a long time ago with trying to insist they could take care of those things. Sarah had insisted that Bucky was her responsibility, an it was never a burden or hassle for her to tend to him on the Wednesdays and Sundays when she'd visit him. Sometimes she'd come a few more days too, but with her busy schedule and planning, it had only been two days lately.

 

“I'll make sure lots of pictures get taken so you can see them when you wake up, James.” Sarah told him, easing herself up and checking the clock on the wall. She would have to be going, and her smile turned into a frown. The teen grabbed up her book bag and stuffed all her things into it. She grabbed her iPhone and plugged the mp3 player she'd gotten for him back in. The sound of the 1940's big band filled the air and Sarah began humming along to the start of a playlist she knew by heart. Her father used to dance with her to these songs, telling her stories from when him and Bucky were boys and they used to haunt the dance halls.

 

Sarah leaned over James and laid her head on his chest, taking comfort on the beat of his heart.

 

“I've got a crush on you, sweetie pie. All the day and night time, hear me sigh...” She quietly sang along with the song before she leaned up and planted a lingering kiss on James's jaw. She sat up and said her goodbyes. “I'll be back soon, James.” Sarah gave him one last smile before leaving the room and shutting the door behind her. Nadine was at the nurses station and preparing for the end of her shift. Sarah greeted her with a heartfelt hug and the older woman kissed her forehead.

 

“Hello honey.” Nadine greeted her and Sarah slumped against the counter as she waited for her Mom to get done with work.

 

“Hey Mom. You about ready?” Nadine sighed, nodding and saying her goodbyes to the other two women. With no preamble, the two began heading towards the elevator. Every Sunday they had dinner out and Sarah would then come back home to the tower. Steve and Nadine had broken up a few years ago after fifteen strong years together, Nadine had met her named and had been only been able to deny it for so long before Steve insisted she go and make herself happy. But despite the heartbreak they all felt, Steve and Nadine were able to remain friends and she was the only mother Sarah had ever known.

 

“How's James?” Nadine asked, as they exited the elevator and walked towards the rotating doors leading out of the tower. Sarah smiled and touched the dog tags around her neck, a habit she'd developed when she spoke about James to other people.

 

“Can't get him to shut up. Talked my ear off as usual.” The sarcasm was light hearted, and the women shared a laugh. Nadine gave her a warm smile before she haled a cab. They went across town to a small hole in the wall restaurant that her brother owned. Joseph was in his forties and very energetic, definitely one of Sarah's favorite uncles.

 

He ended up joining them for dinner, and they all chatted back and forth. The Spanglish was strong with them, and Nadine was always praising her on her Spanish. Sarah would beam and kiss her Mom's cheek. It was obvious Sarah wasn't her biological daughter, but that didn't matter much. Nadine has always been there. Sarah knew of her real mom, read her files and seen all the pictures. Her father had told her how she'd come to be. He'd also told her about Peggy. It made her very sad to know his soulmate was dead. She hated seeing him alone so much, but he worked a lot and kept himself busy with her.

 

That's another reason why Sarah didn't mind being with James so much. She was grateful he was at least alive, and she was able to be close to him. But, she longed to see his eyes open and to hear his voice. All those romantic notions that named people dreamed about. She wanted to hear him say her name and call her doll. Her father said that was a fond nickname he'd liked to call _dames_ back in the day. She must have gotten too quiet, because her Mom's hand closed on her's.

 

“Mi hija?” Nadine asked softly, and Sarah gave her a small smile. “Thinking about James again? Don't be sad. Just be patient.”

 

“I know, it's just I feel like I'm going to go crazy!” The girl leaned back in her seat, done eating and way too full. Her somber mood was too much to ignore as she continued on. “It's so weird to have him so close and yet so far away. I just want him to wake up already!” She groaned, but her Mom's smile and her uncle's made her blush.

 

“Oh, sweetie.” Nadine cooed and pulled her into her side. Sarah gave up and melted into the older woman.

 

 

The graduation party had been a a hit, and by the time it was over, Sarah's poor feet were throbbing. She had kicked the heels off long before the last guest left. The elaborately beaded and old world dress style dress hugged her like a second skin. It was black and dark green, the beads were green glass. Hints of gold accented some of the lace and brought out the green in her eyes. Her throat was wrapped in a black velvet choker, the dog tags tucked down into her cleavage. Her hair had been done up in curls and toppled on her head which looked gorgeous. Sarah's make up was simple but made all the men around her give her approving nods.

 

The whole team had shown up, even Thor and Jane. Their children were in Asgard so they could visit and enjoy cocktails with the other adults. Tony and Pepper entertained, and her father spent plenty of dances with her and Nadine. Clint and his wife were enjoying the music with their kids who were a few years older than Sarah. Clint's son, Theo, who was going to be in SHEILD's next graduating class, spun her around a few times before bowing and taking his leave of her. It was a sweet gesture, and they talked of their named one's the whole time. Theo hadn't met his 'Patrick Herman' yet, but he was anxiously awaiting. They had that in common.

 

Sam Wilson had brought his girlfriend, Natasha came alone and looking like a knock out in a red ensemble. Everyone shared congratulations and toasted to her multiple times. It was nice to be allowed to drink wine for once, and when her father wasn't looking, she'd downed quite a few of them until her lips were stuck in a permanent smile. There was only one thing missing and her father was the one who had noticed.

 

“You want to get out of here, ma'am?” Captain Rogers asked her as he came up behind him and held out his arm. Sarah smiled and nodded, giggling as her father picked her up bridal style and balanced her heels in one hand. Her mother had just left, the clean up crew was starting to get to work. It was well past midnight and Sarah let out a loud yawn.

 

“Sleepy?” He asked.

 

“Yeah, but I want to see James before I go to sleep.” Her eyes met her father's as he gently placed her into the waiting SUV to take them back to the Tower. Once he climbed in, he shutt he door ad the driver took off. “I'd hate to waste all this makeup by not stopping by and seeing him.”

 

Steve grinned and nodded, wrapping his arm around his daughter's shoulder and pulling her close.

 

“That'd be a real shame. Bucky would be beside himself with how dolled up you are tonight.” His voice was taking on the nostalgic tone which he usually had when speaking of his best friend. It made Sarah snuggle in closer as she listened to more stories of her soulmate.

 

When they got to the tower, Steve seen her to Bucky's room before he excused himself to change out of his suit and get ready for bed. Sarah kissed his cheek and quietly walked inside. She could feel the drowsiness from all the wine getting to her. The door shut with a gentle whoosh, and she shivered as her bare feel touched the cold linoleum floor. The teen was thankful for the dim lighting and was surprised to see a fresh bouquet of flowers on the bed beside the super soldier. There was an envelope addressed to her. She picked up dress off the floor and made her way over.

 

Red roses, blue carnations and white baby's breath. Sarah smiled to herself as she picked the bouquet up and sat down beside James. Carefully, she opened the card and seen it was from her father.

 

I wish he was awake so he could have danced with you, sweetheart. He'd kill me if he found out I didn't get you flowers for your big night from him. He's a suave tom cat like that. I love you, and I'm sure he will too.

 

Tears sprang into her eyes as she watched James sleep. Sarah placed the flowers and the card on the table before she laid beside the sleeping man. He was so large compared to her, scarred up and bulky. His muscles were still firm after all these years asleep. But his chest was comfortable as she laid her head on it, listening to his heart beat its familiar steady rhythm. Her arm went around his middle as she tucked her legs along his. Quietly, she hummed along to the music playing in his room, letting her tears soak into his gray shirt.

 

“I miss you, and we haven't even said hello to each other yet.” Her voice was hoarse as she let her eyes droop closed, holding onto him for dear life.


	4. Compass

“ _We can build a tree house in the pine trees_  
We can keep our secrets buried underneath  
Wildflowers crush between your fingers  
Clinging to the wild things that raised us  
Compass points your home  
Calling out from the east  
Compass points you anywhere  
Closer to me  
If we make it out alive, from the depths of the seas  
Compass points you anywhere  
Closer to me”

_Compass by Zella Day_

 

 

 

**Chapter 3: Compass**

 

 

 

“I think you should consider Harvard.” Steve said nonchalantly over breakfast, while a few other team members buzzed around the kitchen island. The communal living area for everyone was stainless steel and utilitarian. State of the art. It created an interesting back drop for everyone who was still in their pajamas. Steve had asked her a few years ago about the idea of finding a house or apartment, Sarah insisted they stay in the Tower. She enjoyed being surrounded by the various personalities. Aside from Tony and Pepper, they were the only ones who really lived there. Sam was usually at his girlfriend's, Thor was in Asgard with his family and Clint had his farm. Natasha occasionally stayed in the tower when she wasn't on mission.

 

This was one of those lucky times, Clint and Nat had gotten in last night and were planning on staying a few days. Sarah was anxious to see what mischief they'd be getting into, but Daddy Captain America wanted to discuss college options, again.

 

“Daaaaaaad....” She whined as she shoved her messy bed hair out of her face. Steve was in his regular dark blue sweats and white tee. It always kind of unnerved her how he managed to look so amazing in the morning, all of the Avengers really. Her eyes skirted to Nat who was reading a paper while sipping coffee. Not a hair out of place, her jogging gear looking amazing on her. Then she found Clint, who looked like death warmed over. His eyes were puffy and the lines on his face seemed deeper. His age was starting to show. That made her feel a little better. He spotted her looking and gave her a sad smile, winking. She winked back and heard her father sigh.

 

“Sarah, this is serious. It's your future! Don't you think you should be thinking about this stuff?” He sounded slightly annoyed, but didn't look intimidating while digging into a bowl of lucky charms. The visual made Sarah grin sheepishly and concede to him.

 

“Yeah, it's important but, so is staying close by. I don't see why I can't just go to a local school and be able to come home at night?” Now it was her turn to be aggravated, she was losing her appetite for her orange and glass of apple juice.

 

“Or you can learn to kick some ass and become an agent.” Clint piped up, grinning like a mad man when Steve turned in his chair and glared.

 

“Language!” He scolded, before adding more. “And no, absolutely not.”

 

“Oh come on Cap, the little turd gets it honest. Look at her! All those muscles and cat like reflexes!” Clint teased, bursting out laughing as Sarah held up her little arms and flexed her minute muscles. She put on a real show, mimicking her father's media poses. Steve knew it too, and soon enough he was laughing and begging her to stop. She giggled and finished off her orange. Nat caught her attention and gave her a small smile.

 

“In all seriousness kid, you should seek further education.” The older woman spoke, but she gave a pointed look to Steve. “But I don't think Clint is totally wrong. There are more than just field agent's within SHEILD. There's the science department, logistics, communications...” Nat grinned like a Cheshire cat before she folded up the news paper and set it down. Sarah shrugged and looked to her father. Steve's mouth was pursed, but they could all tell he was thinking. After some brief silence, he spoke.

 

“I think if you decided to work for SHEILD, I would be okay with it as long as it's not as a field agent. You are good with languages, obviously. Maybe communications would be a good fit. I could talk to Fury about it, make sure you have enough time for school.” Everyone smiled and Sarah scrunched her nose up in victory, mouthing a thank you to Natasha for mostly getting him off track on the subject of school for the time being. Everyone knew the real reason for her not wanting to leave, but nobody really liked to say it out loud.

 

“I don't know what I want to do yet, but I promise I am thinking about it.” The teen reassured her father, before standing to take her glass to the sink. “I promise to inform everyone as soon as I come up with reasonable options.” She rinsed her glass out and set it in the dishwasher before walking to her dad and kissing the top of his head. She was going to go get ready for the day before Natasha got her attention.

 

“Wait a second, cow girl.” She said and Sarah stopped, turning around to look at the three Avengers.

 

“Yeah?” Sarah pushed her blonde hair out of her face again, wondering what Nat had forgotten to say.

 

The assassin pulled out two papers, folded and printed with bright pictures. Sarah was confused as she walked up and accepted one of them. Natasha gave her a satisfied smile before explaining herself.

 

“I know you don't want to ever be far from Barnes, but, I booked us a getaway to St. Lucia for a week. Just us girls and of course some guards to stay out of sight and out of mind.” The teen's jaw dropped, along with her stomach. “It's my gift for your graduation. I thought you could use some time away to forget all the serious stuff.” Natasha gave a pointed look to Steve who rolled his eyes.

 

“Your Mom and I signed off on the idea, I think you should go.” Steve's voice was tight, but he was genuinely smiling for her. Sarah was speechless, and she really wanted to refuse, but the hopeful look in all their eyes told her she wouldn't be refusing. Finally, the teen smiled and stepped around the counter to wrap her arms around all three of them to the best of her abilities.

 

“Wow!” She admonished, seeing the happy expressions on all their faces.

 

“You're to stay with Natasha at all times, and no drinking or...whatever you women do when you're on your own.” Steve was quick to add as Natasha grabbed Sarah and steered her towards their floor. They would be leaving tonight, so they could make it there by morning. Nadine was set to come over to help Steve see her off.

 

When the women were out of sight, Clint shook his head and poured him another cup of coffee. The happiness in their faces was starting to fade as they both adopted a look of fatherly worry.

 

“I'm sure Nat will keep her in line.” Clint offered in support. Steve sighed, shaking his head and looked at the other man.

 

“I think it'll probably be the other way around.”

 

“God, help us.”

 

 

 

There was two hours left before the car left to take Sarah and Natasha to the private jet Tony was allowing them to travel in. So, Sarah quickly walked into James' room to say her goodbyes. As usual, he was freshly clean and his bedding was new. The 40's era music was in the air and she shut the door. Sarah was wearing a pretty white linen skirt and a teal top which had white embroidery. It would be warm when they landed so Natasha made some suggestions. Sarah had on some tan gladiator sandals and her hair was pulled to the side and braided. The teen took her place beside James on his bed and curled into his side.

 

“Natasha is taking me to St. Lucia tonight. It's her graduation present.” The girl sounded airy and uninterested. Guilt scraped at her insides, she should be more grateful. “Don't get me wrong, I'm excited but I don't want to leave you.” Her voice was soft as she took her right hand, the one with his mark, and interlaced it with his hand which held her mark. “I'm just being silly though, right?”

 

There was no answer, just the soft sound of his breathing. She sighed and nodded.

 

“Yeah, I thought so. But promise me that you'll be okay?” Her hand squeezed his and he remained as still as a statue. Her eyes watered some, but she quickly pushed them away. Sarah had a strong attachment to James for obvious reasons, but maybe getting away would do her some good. “But, I promise I'll bring you back something nice. I'll add it to the collection.” A smile broke across her face before she lifted their conjoined hands and kissed his knuckles. Touching him this much wasn't something she did in front of others. Just when they were alone. But it was always just cuddling up to him, pecking his jaw or holding his hand.

 

Sarah just laid there with him for a little while, enjoying his body heat before she forced herself up. She hesitated to untangle her hand from his, but she made sure to give him two extra pecks on his cheek and jaw before she said goodbye and left.

 

 

Three days into their seven in St. Lucia, Sarah found herself ready to come home. They took two days to adjust and relax which wasn't too bad, but now Sarah was ready to scream. Natasha had forced her into the smallest bikini Sarah had ever worn. It was a nude tone which matched hers well, and made her confront her body issues head on. The seventeen year old had originally refused to walk out of the bathroom in their bungalow, but the assassin drug her out and tossed a sarong at her that looked like a tie-dye mandala. It was teal blue, white and sea green. The older woman instructed her how to properly tie it around her hips, and told her to stop looking like such a stick.

 

Natasha had braided her hair lazily, which suited the beach front 'vibe' the older woman had said. It's all apart of fitting in and having a good time, she'd also said. Sarah didn't want to fit in like this, or be here at all at the moment. She was terribly homesick, wondering how everyone was doing. She was hoping her father didn't forget to take the clothes out of their washer, hoped the nurses kept James' music playing. She'd already called home a few times before Natasha took her phone and hid it that morning. Yeah, she was definitely ready to scream.

 

Their guards were doing a good job, though. That was nice, she'd hardly noticed them with their casual dress and the distance they kept. Natasha would occasionally motion to them and they'd go do whatever task she'd silently directed to them. The woman was just too much sometimes. Like right now, walking towards her with two drinks and an evil smile on her face. The red head let her hair go natural, with it's natural waviness and her curvy body was wrapped in a similar white bikini that brought out her eyes. Her sarong was a bright red and brown. She looked like a goddess, even though there was a rather ugly scar on her side. Sarah's eyes must have lingered a little too long on it because Nat's face scrunched up for a moment as she pushed one of the drinks into her hand.

 

“What are these?” Sarah asked as she sat down in a weathered wooden beach chair in front of their bungalow. The sun was starting it's slow descent into the ocean and the sky was starting to change. Nat took a seat next to her and smiled impishly, sipping from the straw between her lips. Sarah smelled it, getting nothing but fruit and something she wasn't familiar with. The young woman took a long sip and almost choked when the tang of alcohol invaded her mouth. “Oh my god!” She gasped. Nat chuckled and motioned to her to keep drinking.

 

“That's tequila, not the wine you were guzzling at your party.” The woman's voice was teasing and Sarah grinned sheepishly, before doing as she was told. When half the glass was gone, Natasha started speaking again. “The scar is from getting shot.”

 

Sarah stopped drinking and looked at her as if she'd guessed it, she's seen them on various members of he Avengers, her father included.

 

“I figured so.” She spoke softly. Natasha pulled their straws out and motioned for Sarah to up end the glasses. The two women chugged them, and Sarah did cough this time, before the red of alcohol started settling in her cheeks.

 

“It was Barnes.” Natasha said softly before pushing her hair out of her face. Sarah's eyes snapped to her and her jaw hung open for a second. “It was while he was Hydra's puppet. I was trying to transport a scientist out of Iran and he was James' mission.” Despite the heavy subject, and Nat covering the scar with her arm, she seemed nonchalant. “He couldn't get a direct shot so he got him through me. He's determined and one of the best at what he does, kid.”

 

“I'm sorry.” Sarah told her, feeling her heart break despite Natasha's cool attitude. The older woman tilted her head to the side and gave her a small smile. “That wasn't James, that was the Winter Soldier.” The teen looked at her empty glass and wondered if maybe she should have another one of these.

 

“You're right, it wasn't. But the world is still wanting his head on a pike, Sarah. He'll never be able to shed that. I want you to know how hard it's going to be for you both once he does wake up.” Natasha paused and took their glasses, standing and waiting for Sarah to stand too. When she did, Nat jerked her head towards the SUV parked beneath some palm trees. “You'll have to fight for every moment of happiness you get, but I think you'll be able to do it.” The older woman gave her a smile and ran the glasses inside, to come out with her wallet and grab Sarah's hand.

 

“C'mon kid, lets go get into some mischief.”

 

Sarah found it inside herself to smile, mulling over what Natasha had told her. It made her grateful for the tequila in her system. They were greeted by a few guards who opened the SUV door for them and helped them step inside. Natasha chuckled at Sarah's panic to be going into public in her bathing suit and her sandal clad feet, the woman just assured her that it was easier to dance in the night's humidity in them.

 

 

 

One day before Sarah was due to return and Steve was ready to pull his hair out. He'd tried to put on a brave face and see his daughter off with a smile, but the moment she was out of his sight, he had to excuse himself so he could pout in privacy. Nadine had offered to stay for a while to comfort him, but he'd assured her that he'd be fine. She wasn't much better, concerned like the good mother she was. They'd hugged before she left to return to her apartment with her soulmate. He'd been trying so hard to swallow down the worry he'd had the moment the plane had taken off. Natasha kept him updated, as did the security team. From what he heard was Sarah had finally stopped moping a few days ago and was earnestly having fun. He'd been getting pictures of the women on the beach and doing random things. Sarah looked like she was having a blast.

 

But, as promised, he was in Bucky's room and humming along to some music playing. His friend was more hairy than usual and he knew Sarah was going to have a hissy fit when she got back. The idea made Steve chuckle. It was in the morning and Steve laid some printed out copies of the pictures Natasha had texted to him on the table next to all the cards. It never failed to amaze him how committed and loyal his daughter was to the man whom she'd never heard a word from.

 

“She's still gone, and I'm ready to climb the walls Buck.” Steve grumbled around a smile. “Sarah's having fun though, I laid some pictures down here for you to see later.” The Captain checked his watch and frowned, he was due to hit the gym soon.

 

“I uh, gotta go and get my work out in, but if you decide to wake up and surprise our best girl I think she'd enjoy seeing your ugly mug when she gets home Buck. You don't understand how much she needs you.” Even though the other man was unconscious, that felt very awkward to say. So Steve made his leave, knowing he'd back later as he ate his dinner.

 

The day passed in relative normalcy, aside from Tony and Bruce nearly blowing up their lab when Vision popped in for a visit. It was nice to see the Vision, it'd been a long time and Sarah was going to be upset she'd missed him. Vision was gone usually, keeping an eye on the world between staying close to Wanda. It was sweet the way they looked at each other. Neither had a soul mark, but they seemed to gravitate towards one another.

 

By the time night settled in over New York, all was quiet and Steve found himself considering a hot bath and maybe even a beer or two before bed. Sarah and Nat would be on their way by now from St. Lucia and they'd hopefully be back shortly after he wakes up. He'd forgone seeing Bucky only because he was feeling a little weird with his visit earlier. He knew it was ridiculous, but he decided to visit him after Sarah got home with her.

 

Like he'd hoped, he returned to the floor he shared with his daughter, and mozied to his bedroom for a bath and to stretch across his bed lazily with a cold beer. Steve stripped and glanced in the mirror above the sink. He leaned over the sink and noted the small wrinkles around his eyes that weren't there a few years ago. He knew he looked great for his true age, but he no longer looked like a twenty something. He was looking like a well kept thirty something. It didn't bother him too much, was just a reality check. When the hot water was ready, he slid in and sighed as his muscles relaxed.

 

Bed was even more comfortable than usual, his boxers soft against his warm skin and the cold beer in his hand. MASH was on and he chuckled at Hawkeye. He'd found that was his favorite show. No matter how old that show was, a network somewhere would always play it. Steve propped himself up on a pillow and set his beer on his bedside table, yawning and adjusting to fully sink into his large bed. The Captain hadn't meant to yet, but soon he found himself asleep and hoping their flight went smoothly.

 

 

 

_WAAAAM!_

 

_WAAAAM!_

 

 _WAAAAM_!

 

The blaring alarms and red lights flashing in his bedroom woke Steve up with a panic. As soon as his blue eyes took in the emergency system kicking in, his stomach bottomed out. His nerves were on edge as he rose and threw on his pants. He didn't bother with a shirt, he ran to the elevator in bare feet as he hit the button with the Avengers' A on it. Sweat was already beading on his neck by the time the elevator doors opened. He was greeted with staff members running around and manning the control panels for the satellite cameras Tony used to triangulate important locations. Steve only had a moment to see the camera's were pointed at an expanse of ocean before he heard his name being said.

 

“Steve!” It was Tony, already in his Iron Man suit. Pepper was standing off to the side, bent over a panel with a head piece on and talking to someone. She too looked fresh from sleep.

 

“Where's Sarah?” Steve said with a panicky breath and Tony motioned towards his suit.

 

“Get suited up, we got an emergency mayday from Natasha. “ Tony started, following Steve to where they kept his uniform. Without care, Steve stripped his jeans off and began putting the red, white and blue uniform on. “They were shot out of the air by an unidentified jet.” The billionaire sounded sick to his stomach as he seen his teammate blanch. “Nat said she had secured Sarah, but it's been two minutes since the connection was lost.”

 

Steve felt as if he was going to pass out by the time he got into his boots. He swayed on his feet but Tony caught him by his shoulder. After a second, Steve rallied and stood up straighter. He had to treat this like any other mission and get his head in the game. He could feel eyes watching him as they tried to play back footage from their satellites. Steve broke free from Tony and pointed to one of the screens.

 

“Pull up all footage you have of Sarah and Nat's plane.” His voice was stern and loud. The room errupted with the sound of keys being punched in and then the footage lit up the room. “Zoom in 15 %.” The video enlarged, and he could see Tony's private white jet flying the way it was supposed to. Soon, he seen a black and more sleek fighter jet coming up behind it. The white plane swerved and the audio from Nat's call began playing in real time with the video.

 

“ _A Tower this is Black Widow, we've got a bogey on our tail. Miss America is secure. A Tower this is Black Widow_!” Then the black jet opened fire, the left wing on the private jet crumbled and the plane began decending. “ _A Tower, A Tower, mayday. Iron Horse is going down_.” Natasha's voice was slightly panicked as the plane was leaving a thick trail of dark smoke. The black jet followed them down, it then proceeded to take out the other wing.

 

Steve was in tears, listening to the static from the footage and audio. People were shouting order and making phone calls, Tony was talking to someone and then a black clad staff member yelled for Steve.

 

“Captain! We've got a signal from Window's personal com!” Steve felt his heart jolt as his feet moved towards the man.

 

“Put her through!” The room was silent as more static sounded and then he could heard someone breathing. It sounded wet and wrong. Every hair on his body was on end.

 

“Natasha?” Steve asked, desperate for an answer.

 

“ _Steve..._ ” Romanov's voice came through, and she sounded terrible. She let out a wet cough and started speaking again. “ _We were hit, Sarah's hurt but she hasn't sustained any life threatening injuries_.” Relief flooded through him. Tony was organizing a rescue mission in the background.

 

“We're deploying a team right now! Hang in there, tell Sarah I'm coming!” He assured her, but Nat groaned and her voice dropped. There was a weird sound in the back ground and the line was suddenly loud and he almost had to cover his ears.

 

“ _Steve! You're not going to get here in time!_ ” Natasha yelled over the sound as she growled, the noise stopped and he could hear loud bangs. Gun fire.

 

“NATASHA?” Steve yelled, feeling as if his stomach was filling with concrete. There were a few more dun shots and a muffled growl from the assassin before he heard the distinct scream of Sarah in the back ground.

 

“ _Get off her!_ ” Natasha hissed out, more scuffling and muffled words before the line became clearer and the room could hear the crying screams of Sarah Rogers.

 

“ _Please, don't hurt her! Please! PLEASE! DADDY!_ ” Sarah was sobbing, sounding farther away than she had seconds before. The room was still as a scratchy sound.

 

“ _Shut her up!_ ” A heavily accented male voice barked, and Steve heard Sarah grunt. His hands were shaking and the veins in his forehead were protruding. More sounds of movement before the male voice chuckled and began speaking. “ _Hello, Captain_.”

 

“Who are you?” Steve growled, casting a look to Tony who looked deadly and ready to kill someone.

 

“ _Ah, I represent some old friends of yours, Captain Rogers._ ” He paused and barked out something in what sounded like Russian.

 

“What do you want?” Steve asked, knowing whatever it was would be the selfish desire that signed all their death certificates. He had a good idea which 'friends' the man spoke out.

 

“ _We want what we've always wanted. A better world. Compliance. But right now, my masters want their soldier back_.”

 

Steve's eyes widened and his jaw went tight. His eyes narrowed and he leaned over onto his fists.

 

“You want the Winter Soldier back?” He guessed and the man chuckled.

 

“ _Yes, we're ready for the asset to come home and fulfill his purpose. We're proposing a trade_.”

 

Steve was fighting with himself to keep control of himself. Tony's hand gripped his shoulder firmly in support. The men shared a look, both unsure of exactly what to do. Steve needed to keep his daughter and teammate safe, get them home. Sarah would murder him if he agreed to trade Bucky for her. They don't negotiate with terrorist, but this wasn't just anyone. This was his child. They all knew Nat was willing to die, it's who she was, but his innocent baby girl wasn't ready to go yet. Not ever if he had his way.

 

“Them for Bucky?” He asked, and the man started laughing again.

 

“ _Oh no, one for one. The red head isn't leaving this raft. But, we will return your daughter for our Asset_.”

 

Steve's heart dropped to his stomach and he punched the counter he was leaning on, denting the metal.

 

“ _We will be in touch, Captain. If you try anything we will turn your precious child over to the people who are quite proficient in conditioning the human mind._ ” Once again the line was filled with sounds of movement and muffled words. Sarah was sobbing and begging, she sounded winded as if she was fighting back. Tears were spilling over Steve's cheeks as he felt so helpless.

 

“ _PLEASE DON'T! OH GOD! NATASHA!_ ” Sarah screamed in the back ground, before the man's voice filled the room one last time.

 

“ _Hail Hydra_.”

 

There was a single gun shot and the line went dead right as Sarah had started screaming.

 

The silence in the air was deafening, and Steve didn't say anything before he lashed out and yelled. Tony's arms snuck around his throat from behind to get the man under control.

 

“Steve! Steve! You have to get yourself together!” Tony growled at him through the thick emotion in his own voice. Steve heaved over then, letting out a sob that could only be compared to a dying animal. After a moment, the super soldier looked up and started pointing to random people.

 

“I want eyes everywhere! Deploy every unit! Find out where these assholes are going to be hiding!” He took a deep breath and looked to the elevator that was just opening. Agent Hill and a few other SHEILD agents looked flushed as they entered the fray. Steve growled at her. “Get Fury up to speed once you are and I want everyone here ASAP!” Tony followed Steve to the elevator and looked confused before he watched the Captain hit the lab floor.

 

“What are you doing? We need a plan Steve!” The doors shut and Steve squared his shoulder's with Tony's metal suited ones. A grim expression crossed his face.

 

“I'm not sure yet, but if they want the Winter Soldier, I'm going to give him to them.” Steve's voice was deathly serious and Tony felt his face pale. The two men shared a quiet look before Tony nodded and his fists balled at his sides.

 

“I've got men in route to the crash site, I'll make sure they bring Nat back.” Steve nodded and felt his legs shaking.

 

“We're going to end it. For good. I should have known they'd never stop.” The Captain's voice went tight and Tony nodded, sharing the same sentiment.

 

“We'll get Sarah back, Steve.”

 

The elevator dinged and the doors opened, Tony stayed in and held it open as Steve walked out. Iron Man called after him.

 

“What about Nadine?” Steve stopped walking and felt his body clench up, he'd not even thought about Sarah's 'adoptive' mother. His throat tightened and he turned towards his friend.

 

“Get her and her soulmate here, I want to make sure they are safe. If there's anyone who could be used as leverage, get them here and under our protection.” Tony nodded and let the doors close, knowing he had a mission.

 

Steve wasted no time getting to the cryogenics lab, grabbing the first technician he could. It was a middle aged woman who looked startled to see him such a state.

 

“Captain?” She asked. Her name was Gladys by her name tag. He wasted no time with pleasantries as he started giving her an order.

 

“I need you to wake James Barnes up right _now_.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *sniffles and cuddles dog*  
> Hope you guys don't kill me, but I really hope you all enjoyed this chapter.  
> Please feel free to let me know what you all thought. xoxo  
> (and just so you know, shit shall hitteth the fan.)


	5. Winter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Been pretty busy, but I'm trying to catch my stories up!   
> Hope you enjoy!   
> XOXO!!!

“ _It's so cold, baby it's dark outside_  
Winter comes creeping in through the night  
And it's hard when I just want to hold you tight  
Breaks my heart but nothing can break this ice  
  
Hold on, hold on, Baby just be strong”

 

- _Winter by Birdy_

 

 

 

Chapter 4 : Winter

 

 

Steve stood in the doorway watching doctors and scientists as they stood over Bucky, putting in IV's and writing things down on charts while they discussed what was going in which vein. Every muscle in his body was taught and he was struggling with the urge to leave and hunt down the Hydra bastards that had his daughter. He'd heard his baby girl scream over Natasha's personal com line two hours ago. Tony and Fury both suggested they wait for Hydra to get in touch, as much as they all hated it. The alternative was too dangerous to risk at the moment.

 

Tony was handling the logistics of bringing Natasha's body back to be handled properly. She would get a service with full honors, she'd died a hero while trying to protect Sarah... The super soldier inhaled sharply with the raw ache in his chest as he tried not to focus on the horror that Sarah must be dealing with right now. Clint had been summoned and was grieving with the rest of the team which had showed up, Thor was even upstairs. Vision, too. Nadine and her soulmate was in his and Sarah's personal quarters, seeking privacy as she wept and worried herself to nausea over their daughter.

 

Fury was using every means necessary to help them get leads and be ready for when Hydra reached out to them again to arrange a deal. Steve was changed back into his civilian clothes after Gladys had suggested he go get into different clothes. Bringing someone out of their cryo stasis was a lengthy process and he would want to be comfortable. The idea of bringing Bucky out of his extended cryo had everyone in the room on edge, and Steve was sure his looming presence didn't help either. But he wasn't feeling considerate to them right now, he had a mission he couldn't complete without his best friend. He needed Bucky, Sarah needed Bucky too.

 

Slowly, the staff started filing out one by one, informing him that he would need to watch closely. The chances of Bucky waking up and coming out swinging were high, but Steve wasn't worried about that. The other super soldier had went under on his own volition, and he would be waking up to see him standing there. After another hour, the room was vacated except for the two men. Steve stepped inside and shut the room door. He sat in his usual chair beside the bed and glanced over at all the cards and mementos they have left there for him through the years. All the time spent in here hit him like a sledge hammer as he felt his throat constricting with the promise of fresh tears.

 

Steve's eyes lingered over all the photographs and cards Sarah had left for her soulmate. She was so good and earnest, she was the best person Steve had ever known. Sarah Corine Rogers was the best thing to ever happen to him, not even Peggy's memory could match what the young woman meant to him. His daughter loved with all her heart, her family was very important to her. But she loved Bucky, too. She'd not even held a conversation with him and knew without question she'd love him. Even with all his past transgressions...

 

The heart monitor spiked, and Steve's attention was pulled away from his inner turmoil while he wiped at his cheeks. His blue eyes watched as Bucky's heart rate started steadily become more accelerated. They'd told him that this would happen, it's his body's first response to waking up. Wanda had been coming in twice a month to work on his mind while he lay unconscious, but she had been close to doing everything in her power for him. She'd said his mind was like a mine field of triggers and memories. It was a 50/50 chance they'd be taking with waking him up. Steve had just been holding out so much hope...

 

Bucky's right hand twitched.

 

Steve stood up then, his own heart starting to race with anticipation with wondering what version of his friend he was about to get. He sent up prayers, one after one, hoping his friend from before the war returned to him. He needed him to help save his daughter. He needed the level headed Bucky so he could explain to him...

 

The soldier's leg muscles started jerking slightly as the body was getting a better handle on itself. Steve held his breath as the heart monitor was beeping nonstop now and drowning out the sound of the music Sarah kept constantly playing. Something inside the man warned him to step back, so he did. Within seconds, Bucky's eyes shot wide open and the man let out a gasp. His gray blue eyes darted around as he went to sit up and lost his balance, falling onto his left side where his mechanical arm was missing.

 

“Bucky? Easy there, it's okay!” Steve spoke up, asserting himself into the space and meeting his friends eyes as they found him as soon as he opened his mouth to speak. Buck looked like a cornered wild animal, muscles going taught until he blinked a few times. “Do you know who I am?” Steve asked and after a few tense seconds, Bucky took a deep breath and gave him a jerky nod.

 

“Steve.” His voice was dry and raspy. The effort must have hurt because he winced and shut his eyes, concentrating. “Steve Rogers.” Bucky's eyes opened back up and they were watering from the dim light. Steve had also been informed that his eyes would be super sensitive to light for a while until they adjusted to receiving it again. The men just shared a look before Steve sighed with relief, rubbing his face and stepping closer to his best friend.

 

“Welcome back, Buck.” He said, mustering up a sad smile before giving the other man a moment to gather his thoughts. Bucky's brows tilted upwards as he looked around the room before settling back on his friend.

 

“How long was I out?”

 

“Almost eighteen years.”

 

It was a honest surprise to Bucky, and his face shown it.

 

“Shit.” He started, taking a good look at Steve's face. “You've gotten old.” Buck added hoarsely, and despite everything going on, Steve let out a dry laugh. His heart lightened some with having his friend back.

 

“Yeah well, it happens.” He replied, offering his hand to his friend to help sit him up. Bucky accepted it, firmly gripping the hand to sit up slowly. He groaned as his head swam with the change in position. Steve steadied him with a grip on his shoulder. Bucky rubbed his face before he motioned for something to drink. Steve went over to the sink to grab him a Styrofoam cup of water. When he returned it to him, Bucky wasted no time draining the cup.

 

“Oh, so much better.” Bucky's voice sounded more clear and Steve nodded his agreement. There was a tension in Steve as he wondered how he was going to explain to Bucky what was going on. He just remained quiet and let Bucky look around and take in his surroundings. When Bucky's eyes fell on the table piled with the cards and various stuffed animals, the soldier cracked a grin.

 

“Well it's nice to see I've been missed, but I'm not a pink teddy bear kind of guy.” He teased, but his voice didn't do a good job at disguising the reality as it was settling in. Losing time and waking up after so long was hard to cope with, Steve knew that first hand. Granted, Bucky was used to it to an extent.

 

“I think black is more your color.” Steve answered back, his eyes shooting to the black script on Bucky's hand. Buck noticed his friend's gaze and followed it. Steve looked away, and reached to the table and picked up one of the newest pictures he'd laid on it a few days ago. It was a picture that Nat had sent to him. Sarah was laughing at something, her blond hair caught in the wind and her sarong looked like it was floating around her. Her skin was golden and he'd have to reprimand her for the bikini, but her smile was electric. His daughter was beautiful. Her green eyes were squinted and the sunshine seemed to be coming from within her.

 

Steve held it in his hands, waiting as Bucky was eerily still. He had his hand tilted so he could stare at the feminine and curly script. It was an interesting contrast to his masculine features. Buck's face was set in a serious scowl as Steve could see the wheels turning in his head.

 

“It's real, Buck.” Steve said softly, gently placing the photo on Bucky's covered lap. The super soldier tore his eyes away from his mark to stare at the photograph. Steve watched as Buck's chest expanded, and the exhale came out shaky. His friends eyes skirted all over the picture, before he picked it up and sighed.

 

“Is she...?” Bucky started to ask, his voice full of thick emotion. His eyes met his friends, and Steve gave him a proud smile.

 

“Yeah, she was born a little over a year after you went under.” He watched as Buck's thumb trailed over the young woman's face gently.

 

“She looks a little like you, which is creepy to say.” Bucky tried to lighten the mood, but he couldn't tear his eyes from the photograph. “You named her after your mother?”

 

“Yeah, and her mother.”

 

“Oh.” Bucky replied, too busy in his own thoughts to ask about her mother. “Does she, I mean, does she know about me?” There was an uncharacteristic fear in his question, which made Steve frown.

 

“She knows everything. Sarah comes to visit you at least two times a week. She talked to you and helped take care of you.” There was a fatherly pride in his voice, and Bucky's jaw tensed. “She's been smitten with your ugly mug since she's been old enough to know about soulmates.” The Captain reached for a few more photos and deposited them on Buck's lap.

 

Bucky carded slowly through the pictures and found himself smiling at a picture of Steve holding a tiny Sarah, couldn't be more than five or so, standing next to his bed side. The little blonde girl had on a party hat that said Birthday Girl on it and some balloons in her hand. Steve gave him time to gather his thoughts while he absorbed it in. Bucky hadn't been marked when he went to sleep, and figured he'd never be. Now here he is, almost eighteen years later and marked with his best friends daughter. The ex assassin frowned, before his lip twitched.

 

“I'm sorry Stevie.” He spoke, knowing his friend knew why he was apologizing. The Captain nodded, before he shrugged and clasped his hands in his lap after he sat back down.

 

“Yeah, when Sarah got her mark I wanted to barge in here and punch you in the face.” Steve admitted, but his tired voice gave him away. “But I took some time and realized this was probably for the best. Ironic as it is.”

 

Bucky gave a small smile, before he lifted his head and let his eyes linger all of the Valentines Day cards and other ones. His usually calculating eyes were soft, his tongue wanting to form a million questions. But he started with the most important one at the moment.

 

“Where is she?” Bucky looked to the door and felt his legs twitch with the want to stand and go look for this girl who'd drew the short stick and got his name. But when his eyes settled back on his friend, his stomach bottomed out. Steve's face was set into a grievous scowl and his fists were balled.

 

“Natasha took her to St. Lucia as a graduation present, and on their way home they were shot out of the sky. They survived the crash, but Natasha was murdered and Sarah was taken hostage..”

 

Bucky's face went paler than it already was, the heart monitor roaring as adrenaline flooded his system. The cold and icy facade of the Winter Soldier started coming through. Bucky's hand on the photos began shaking as he carefully set them aside and started jerking the IV's and sensors off his body. One by one the machines started making an awful racket, and Buck snarled as he slid out of the bed onto his feet. He composed himself quickly as Steve stood and helped steady him.

 

“Who?” Bucky growled out, feeling such a fury inside him he'd never felt before. The name on his hand seemed to burn and throb with each beat of his heart. Steve had somewhat expected this, remembering how protective and passionate he had gotten over Peggy before he was frozen in ice. Buck's eagerness to defend his mate made Steve's emotions more scattered as he choked back a wave of tears. The other super soldier seen this, and for a moment calmed down. The newly awoken soldier clenched his jaw, and gave his friend a strong hug. Steve inhaled sharply, feeling the woes of being a father hit him hard again. Having a child really makes you emotional, it changes you. He knew that to be totally true. The littlest thing regarding Sarah brought him to his knees.

 

But the men embraced like the old friends they were, and Bucky tried his best to comfort him. It was slightly tense though, because Bucky wanted to burn the world down and find Sarah. When Steve managed to speak again, it was rough and coarse. It sent a cold chill through Buck which followed by an even stronger will to destroy.

 

“Hydra.”

 

Within the hour, Steve explained why they couldn't just charge in and start ripping heads off. Bucky wasn't happy with the idea of just waiting around for a phone call, he wanted blood. Steve agreed, but he kept pointing out how their hands were tied. After an adjustment period, Bucky had begun to see reason and conceded to Steve being right. Bucky was brought some clothes and Steve gave him time to change, before the nurses checked him over and gave him a clean bill of health.

 

Tony caught up with him after Steve notified him that Bucky was awake. The tension between the billionaire and the other super soldier was palpable, but Bucky didn't have the mind to hold a grudge. He instead focused on everything that the other two men talking about. Natasha's body was almost home, and Bucky was struggling to remember the face that belong to the name until Steve told him she'd been the pretty red head. A hundred moments involving the woman flooded back to him, a gun shot, a bunch of fights, and sympathetic glances. It made his head hurt but he shook them off, focusing on learning as much as he could about the situation at hand.

 

“Can you play me the audio?” Bucky interrupted the two men as they discussed ways to possibly trace the next call from Hydra without it being detected. Tony paused his train of thought as they entered the control room where dozens of people were scrambling and trying to get any information they could.

 

“Yeah, sure thing.” Tony answered him, walking up to a control panel and punching a bunch of keys. Bucky stood on his own as the other two men walked away, talking as he listened to Natasha's mayday and the call between them and Steve. His will power was tested to it's limit as he heard Sarah's screams and pleas. Everyone in the room were casting worried glances towards him. Bucky brought his hand up to his face, rubbing and pinching at the bridge of his nose. He was shaking again and amazed with how emotionally connected he was with this stranger already. Panic was filling all the cracks that his anger wasn't. After the third time listening to it, Bucky turned towards Steve and Tony.

 

“I'll give myself to Hydra and you get Sarah the hell out of there.” It was as if that was the easiest decision to make. Bucky felt no hesitation whatsoever. He felt responsible for the young woman's abduction and he tried not to let the guilt eat him alive. Steve frowned and shook his head.

 

“They aren't going to have either of you.” Steve's voice had a moving conviction in it, but Bucky shook his head and placed his hand on his hip.

 

“I don't care about what they do to me, Steve. I'm not afraid of them. I'm afraid for Sarah though, she doesn't know...” Bucky swallowed the rest of it down. His eyes darted away from Tony and Steve, the girl knew some of Hydra's horrors now. But she wasn't like them. She wasn't a soldier.

 

“I know Buck, I know. I feel the same way...” Steve started before he stepped closer and let his voice drop. “We're going to get my daughter back and be able to keep you out of Hydra's clutches.” Again, his voice sounded so sure. Bucky chewed his lower lip as Steve's hand squeezed his left shoulder over where the metal connection socket was fused with his skin, under the black sock covering the area under his dark gray tee shirt. “Plus, Sarah would kill me to let you just walk away.”

 

Before Bucky could argue, Tony spoke up.

 

“Cap's right, Sarah would kill us all.” The billionaire gave both the men a small grin, the sadness etched into his face barely allowing it come through. “She's doesn't have super strength or any powers, but that girl is determined and she'll stop at nothing to get back to you.” Tony's eyes pinned Bucky to the spot and under all the fury, Bucky felt his ears getting warm at the thought.

 

 

 

It was cold and the sun dress Sarah was wearing wasn't helping her retain any body heat. The teen was bound around her ankles, knees and her arms were secured to her torso. There was no possible way she was moving. The bruises all over her body from the crash were throbbing, her left knee was swelling so much she could feel her heart beat in the joint. She was pretty sure she'd dislocated her knee when the jet made impact with the water. It felt like it'd been hours. Her throat was raw from screaming and her lower lip was split pretty deep from where someone had hit her in the mouth to shut her up. Her stomach was riddled with dark bruises too, probably. The same guy hit her in the stomach a few times, knocking the wind from her.

 

Sarah's body was now in shock, she knew this. Her memory was shotty from how she'd come to be abducted, all the stranger's faces were blurry in her mind and she was starting to wonder if they had all been masked? That would make sense. There was a high chance she'd sustained a concussion, too. She'd tried to stay away, but she'd slipped in and out of consciousness for a while now. How long had she'd been in their custody? She remembered hearing an aircraft engine firing up, she remembered the loud whooshing, she also remembered being secured and tossed into the back of this old dirty truck. It had been dark outside by the time she'd been put in the truck, but the air was frigid. It was winter wherever they were, or maybe up north somewhere there was always snow.

 

But one thing she knew for certain was that Natasha was dead. Sarah kept reliving the scene vividly in her memory. The woman had drug her through the water, then hoisted her into the raft that had deployed with the impact of the crash. Her arm had been dislocated, and her face covered in lines of blood. Nat had made sure she was in one piece before the jet had hovered above them before men had dropped down. She'd fought, and when the gun was pointed to her forehead, she'd met eyes with Sarah and just mouthed that she was s _orry_.

 

The gun shot had been violent. The shock of seeing the woman's head jerk back, before her body went limp and fell over. Sarah would never forget how dark blood looks like on a white raft, how glassy blue eyes look the moment life leaves them.

 

She'd vomited all over herself when she'd first gained her consciousness. Her dress was crusted in it, along with her hair. It was acidic and putrid, nothing was left in her stomach. Her mouth was sour and dry, she longed for water and an end to this. She wanted her father and her mother. Fresh tears welled in her eyes as she shivered. Her dad would come and find her, so would the team. Her mother must be terrified right now. Sarah knew she'd never vacation again, she should have just been honest and said how much she'd not wanted to go. But she'd wanted to make them all happy. The ache in her chest turned into a searing pain when she thought about James.

 

What if she never made it back? What if she died and he never got to realize how much she loved him? The fear of him eventually being okay and waking up, only to find her name faded and cold... A sob choked her from the inside.

 

 

_“Dad?” A ten year old Sarah asked her father as she sat in his lap. They were seated on the love seat in James' room. Her dad was reading something on his phone, thinking she was still asleep. Steve replied to her without looking._

 

_“Yeah?” His blue eyes finished reading, before he locked his screen and set it aside. Sarah's face was twisted up, signaling she was thinking hard. His smile was genuine as he wrapped his large arms around his little girl, resting his chin on her shoulder._

 

_“Has James ever been in love before?” It was a serious question that had seemed so important to her. She tilted her head back to watch her father as he thought about the answer. His handsome face got very serious, before he took a deep breath in and sat up straight to discuss this very complicated question._

 

_“What makes you ask, honey?”_

 

_Sarah shrugged, tilting her face towards James' sleeping form. He looked so large, and bulky like her daddy. It was frightening to know he'd be her's one day, and she'd be his._

 

_“Well, you loved Peggy and my real mom, now you have Mommy. You've loved a lot.” Her green eyes were big as she fumbled with the hem of her tee shirt. Steve smiled at her, nodding for her to go on. “You have me, too. You love me and Mommy. I was just wondering if James had anyone he loved?”_

 

_Her father's blue eyes looked over at his friend, before snuggling her in closer to his warmth. He licked his lips to speak, even opened his mouth, before he shut it again and made a noise in his chest. Sarah waited, knowing he did this sometimes when she asked him things._

 

_“Bucky went a very long time without a name. That's very lonely and sad. You feel like you're lost and have no idea which way to go.” He paused and picked up her hand and rubbed his thumb over the other man's name. Suddenly, he seemed very sad and Sarah frowned too. “He spent a lot of time with pretty girls, trying to find love, but it wasn't like it is when you have your soulmate.” His face pinched around his eyes, trying to explain his thoughts. “You only truly love your soulmate, it's hard to explain honey.”_

 

_Sarah nodded slowly, before carefully climbing down and over to James' bed. She threw her knee up and hoisted herself up with the adjustable stabilizing bars on the side of the bed. She brought her legs up and sat Indian style, her marked hand reaching for James'. When her small hand touched his, she paid close attention to all the distinct features it had. They were large like her fathers, wide and his fingers were slender with blunt tips. They were graceful, she thought to herself, but strong. There were faint scars and calluses all over the skin. And James was so warm, her father said it was the super soldier serum. It made them run hot like a freight train engine. Her soulmate was a lot like her father, and that was okay because her father kept her safe. He loved her._

 

_The name on the side of his hand was much more graceful than what she was capable of right now, but one day she'd have a graceful signature. A small smile spread on her lips as she held his hand tightly for the first time. The silence made her look to her father, who seemed to be intent on watching her hold his friend's hand. That small ghost in his eyes was back, and Sarah gave him a bright smile to help chase it away._

 

_“Well, he's got me to love now.” She stated as if it was carved in stone, which it basically was. Steve's saddened features started lighting back up before he stood and stood next to her. He touched the back of her head and leaned down to kiss her forehead._

 

_“And he will, honey.”_

 

 

The memory felt like a dream, and Sarah realized it had in fact been a dream. The truck came to an abrupt stop, and her body rolled and threw her into the back of the cab. A strangled cry left her ad her face and knee collided with the metal. Fresh tears of pain sprang free of her eyes as the engine cut off and she felt the shake of the doors slamming shut. Fear coursed through her before the tailgate came down and she could barely make out the shape of the man climbing in to grab at her. She wiggled and tried to avoid his hands, but it was no use. His gloved fingers wrapped around the rope on her ankles and he started pulling her. 

 

“Please! Let me go!” She begged, ignoring how her split lip protested. The men didn't say anything to her, they just quietly spoke to each other in a language she didn't know. The man who's hands were gripping her ankles, he pulled her to the end of the tailgate and roughly hoisted her over his shoulder. The rope was chaffing into her skin, and her dress had ridden up enough to embarrass and horrify her. Luckily, the men didn't seem to care about that. Her knee was causing her terrible pain, though. With every step the man took, it would tug and send a fresh wave of pain through her. The teen felt vertigo, glad her stomach was already empty. Her hair was swaying side to side, the darkness was doing a good job at preventing her from seeing any details about where they'd brought her.

 

But she could see that she'd been right about one thing, snow. There was snow every where. The men's boots crunched in it and her body was past shivering. She was wondering if maybe she'd die of frost bite or hypothermia. The man who was walking with them shouted ahead and almost instantly, she heard the grating of metal on metal. They were cast in light and a blast of heat hit her, forcing a new wave of shivers to overcome her muscles. When the snow below her turned into dirty concrete, she noticed more voices and people bustling around. She strained with the effort to lift herself up enough to see all the black and green military vehicles and personnel. 

 

Her stomach tightened., this was what was left of Hydra? For the first ten years of her life, her father and the Avengers had dedicated a lot of time to irradiating every Hydra base they could find. It was believed they were all gone, but as they say “you cut off one head”. This seemed to be an old warehouse, maybe left over from some old plant or mill? Her vision was swimming in tears with her effort to take in as much information as possible, but her body was weak. The man holding her came to a stop soon after Sarah had allowed herself to go limp. He'd jostled her around, speaking quickly to someone new. They were walking again, and the smell of food made her stomach rumble. 

 

They went through a few doors, and down long hall ways before she was carelessly deposited onto a thin mattress on a cot in a small holding cell. Sarah didn't make a single noise, her body too tired to find the energy to say anything or act out. She just laid still, not even flinching as the iron bars slammed shut. The light in the room was dim, and she was on the verge of allowing herself to slip back out of consciousness before a door opened up and then her cell. She blinked as a tall and thin man came in. He was younger, maybe in his mid twenties. He had dark eyes and olive skin, a thick black beard that was well trimmed and a hearing aid in one ear. Like everyone else, black fatigues and a long sleeved black wool shirt. He stood at the entrance, looking her over before leaving.

 

He didn't bother to shut the cell, and Sarah thought that was odd until he came right back in with a small duffel and a bottle of water. The man leaned over her and sat her up. He didn't acknowledge her winces or the way she hissed through her teeth as he poked and prodded at her injuries. But it seemed as if the more she made her noises of pain, the deeper the frown on his face would get. When his hand pushed aside her dress to examine her knee, she yelped and jerked as his fingers pressed in on her knee cap. The man growled something under his breath before he reached into his bag and pulled out a knife. Sarah's eyes widened and she leaned away from him, gasping before he cut her knees free. 

 

The change in pressure both hurt and felt like a relief. She exhaled and shuddered, watching the man's hands skirt over her and carefully cut the rope off her. It took only seconds, but in some places if felt like the rope took some skin with it. Blood was slowly seeping out the frictions cuts on her ankles and arms, and the man shook his head as he set the dirty rope aside. As her blood was getting back to normal circulation, the man held the knife up to the bottom hem of her dress and started cutting upwards. On instinct, Sarah gasped and slapped the mans hands away. Her reaction must had surprised him because his eyes met hers, slightly startled. She was scrambling to close the material over her legs before the man shook his head and motioned to it.

 

“It's dirty, must go.” His eyes softened, before he reached for her again. Sarah yelped and backed as far against the wall as she could, her knee throbbing. The man sighed, digging into the duffel and taking out a vast array of cleaning agents and bandages. He held up some alcohol and shook it, then took out a clean pair of sweats. “Must treat wounds, change clothes. Don't want infection.” 

 

Sarah clenched her jaw, wondering if she could trust him not to do anything inappropriate to her. But when he reached for her again, she didn't fight him. His hands were quick, but they never lingered or were rough. He cut her dress from her and opened the water bottle, pouring some water onto a clean wash cloth. He ran it over her wounds and then started disinfecting all the abrasions. Her heart hammered in her chest as his hands wiped at her left thigh, there was a rip where the skin had pinched between the rope and torn off. It stung, but she was happy that she was being tended to. Her eyes kept glancing at the half empty bottle of water, her throat dry and needing to hydrate. The man must have noticed, because he grabbed it and handed it to her. 

 

“Drink slowly.” He warned her, and she just nodded and sipped at the room temperature water. It felt like heaven as it coated her mouth and went down her sore throat. Her green eyes watched him work on her body, quick and meticulous. She didn't shy away anymore until she seen him bring out stitching supplies. As she watched him thread the needle and go to stick it in her thigh, she sucked in a sharp breath and dug her fingers into the ruined material of her sun dress that lay pooled around her. Sarah looked away as she felt the needle bite into her. It didn't take the man long, and when he was done, he began bandaging everything up. 

 

When his attention fell to her knee, he gave her an apologetic look. 

 

“Knee dislocation.” He spoke with his heavy accent, and Sarah chewed her bottom lip, minding the split and ripping at loose skin with her teeth. Fresh blood seeped into her mouth, before she took another drink of water. “Will have to reset, hopefully your knee isn't too swollen.” He positioned himself and pushed at her shoulders to get her to lay back. Sarah turned her face into the musty smelling mattress and tried to think of something happy to help, but when her leg was jerked and a searing pain shot through her body she screamed. Then there was a second jerk, and her voice died in her throat. Darkness started rushing in on her, and before she could formulate a curse, Sarah passed out from pain. 

 

 


	6. Across The Universe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy this installment!   
> Xoxo

“ _Images of broken light which dance before me like a million eyes,_  
They call me on and on across the universe.  
Thoughts meander like a restless wind inside a letter box,  
They tumble blindly as they make their way across the universe.”

_Across The Universe – Fiona Apple_

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter 5: Across The Universe

 

 

 

The hours bled into days and Sarah found herself recuperating in her small cell, mostly alone and escorted to the bathroom by whichever guard was on duty to keep an eye on her. She was reaching the point of madness, and when she would finding her fists balling, that's when Samai would come to check up on her. He'd bring her food and check on her injuries. He'd informed her that her leg would require surgery, and he gave her pain killers to help manage her discomfort and to put her asleep. Sarah talked to him, asking as many questions as he'd let her. He was pretty tight lipped about what Hydra was doing, but he'd talk about his personal life.

 

He'd been a medical student before his Uncle forced him to join Hydra. His Uncle, Joseph Rusok, was second in command and had him backed into a corner. His family was being watched and Samai knew they'd move in on them the moment he went against their wishes. These conversations were held at low whispers and Sarah told him about her life. She spoke about her family, how she had yet to figure out what she wanted to do with her life and she carefully spoke about her soulmate. Samai had gave her very sad smiles when she cried.

 

Nobody had bothered to talk to her, and she kept waiting for someone to come in and rough her up some more. She was waiting for more terror, more information. But after about four day, Samai came back to see her and he was joined by another man finally. The man must be his uncle because there was a strong resemblance. Her skin prickled and her eyes narrowed. She forced herself to sit up, back ramrod straight. Sarah could only imagine how nonthreatening she looked with her dirty hair and the black sweats they gave her to wear. They came into her cell, Samai waiting by the iron bar door. He gave her a warning look before his uncle spoke to her.

 

“How are you feeling, Ms. Rogers?” He asked, before giving her a polite bow. His dark eyes were harsher that Samai's. They seemed beadier and he smelled like onions. Sarah clenched her jaw, before clearing her throat.

 

“Okay, considering my situation.” Her shoulders were squared, and her chin jutted out in defiance. The older man nodded and motioned towards her leg.

 

“My nephew told me you were injured, very painful. My men were supposed to be more tender with your care.” He was trying to sound genuine, but Sarah could tell it was faked to hopefully fool her. Her eyes rolled.

 

“There's nothing tender about shooting a plane out of the sky, _comrade_.” The teen hissed, crossing her arms over her chest. “Cut the act, and get to it already.”

Samai's eyes went wide behind his uncle as he gave her a warning look, shaking his head.

 

Joseph's eyes narrowed on her, and the corner of his mouth twisted up.

 

“If you insist...” He spoke, before he sighed and let the charade drop. An honest harshness washed over him and he relaxed. “You're here to be a trade. Your father has something that belongs to us.”

 

Sarah's face paled, immediately remembering pieces of her abduction. They wanted James. Anger flared inside her and she wished she could stand well enough to throw herself onto him. Her big and innocent looking green eyes hardened and she snarled at him.

 

“You can't have _him._ ” The conviction in her voice made her sound almost dangerous, but the man laughed and waggled his finger at her.

 

“I don't think you're in a position to refuse me, girl.” He was taunting her and Sarah wanted nothing more than to hit the smugness off his face. Her body shook with anger, she'd rather die than let them get their hands back on James. “Your father and I are going to make an arrangement here momentarily.” The man withdrew a satellite phone from his heavy fur lined coat, his fingers hit a few buttons and her heart stopped.

 

Her eyes cut to Samai, who was moving around his uncle to get to her. He crouched down before her and was inspecting her knee. His eyes met hers, a silent plea to be patient and compliant. Sarah answered him with a smoldering glare, promising hell fire and brimstone.

 

“Captain.” Joseph grunted, his beady black eyes met hers. His lips were twisted into an ugly smirk. “Are you prepared for a deal?” There was a silence and Sarah was biting her tongue, wanting to scream at her father to not agree to whatever this monster said. “Good, good.”

 

Her mouth went to open but Samai's hand clamped onto her bad knee and she exhaled sharply as he mumbled an apology. Sarah blinked through the tears in her eyes, trying to focus back on Joseph's call. The old man was just grunting, before he thrust the phone to her. Sarah scowled, reaching for it. Joseph shot her a very dangerous glare in return and despite Sarah's anger, she felt a tendril of fear weave it's way inside her rage. She put the phone to her ear and spoke.

 

“Dad?”

 

The line crackled and her father's voice flooded her ear.

 

“ _Sarah? Honey are you okay?_ ” The worry in his voice caused her heart to hurt as fresh tears sprang into her eyes. A sob choked her, she wanted to be home so badly where she was safe and surrounded by people who loved her.

 

“I'm alive.” She said honestly, her father making a sound she couldn't figure out.

 

“ _Sarah, listen to me. We're going to bring you home baby_.” He assured her, and she sniffled. Joseph's heavy stare felt like it weighed a hundred pounds, promising all kinds of punishment if she were to say the wrong thing.

 

“I know Daddy.” She whispered.

 

“ _Are you hurt badly? Have they taken care of you_?” There was back ground noise, and she couldn't make out who was talking.

 

“They have a doctor, he's doing the best he can. I'll need surgery when I get home.”

 

“Okay, that's enough!” Joseph said before he ripped the phone away and Sarah reached after it, an insult bubbling up in her throat before Samai pulled her back.

 

“Sarah!” The younger man hissed and his hand hovered in warning over her bad knee. The teen shoved him away, feeling an odd sense of betrayal. She looked away from him and wiped at her face hastily. She didn't say anything else until Joseph hung up the call and motioned for Samai to get her ready to be moved.

 

“We're going to make the trade on the Chukotka Peninsula in twelve hours, get her ready.”

 

Samai just nodded, and stood. The men traded words, and Joseph said something sharp to his nephew. Sarah observed the two of them, and watched closely as the older man opened his coat to put his phone back inside. She caught a glimpse of a dark red book, which looked worn and very old. Her brows furrowed, until Joseph caught her looking. He paused for a moment, before a sharp back hand across her face knocked her over onto her side. A grunt left her as she pushed herself upright, watching the tails of the man's long black coat swished with his exit.

 

Her fury felt like a wild fire within her, and she didn't hear anything Samai was saying until his hand touched her left eye where his uncle's hand had caught her. Sarah pushed him away again, but Samai ignored her and grabbed her wrists, commanding her attention and dropping his voice.

 

“Sarah, stop.” He begged her, and Sarah rolled her eyes.

 

“You were nice to me, but you're no better than them.” She sniped at him angrily, feeling the soreness set into her face. The man's eyes softened and his grip loosened. He sighed and his thumbs began rubbing over the tender skin of her wrists that here still healing below the bandages.

 

“I'm sorry.” He confessed. The teen girl looked away from him, wanting to hate him. He was a hostage in his own way. Guilt started eating at her, feeling his hands start to pull away from her. With a hesitation she'd learned over the past few days, she gently grabbed one of his hands and held it.

 

“No, I'm sorry.” She whispered back, meaning it. “You don't want to be here anymore than I do.” Their eyes met, before his trailed down to the name on her hand.

 

“Maybe they will have plan?” He said, some hope coming through. Sarah pushed down her worry, having faith her father and the Avengers had a plan. Surely they wouldn't hand James over? Not without a fight. The images of them handing over an unconscious James made her stomach knot. The idea of him waking up and being their slave once again only fed her fire.

 

“They can't be allowed to get James back, Samai. It's not even the fact he's my soulmate, but he doesn't deserve that. They made him into a monster.” Her eyes closed and she let his hand go, rubbing at her face and thinking about what she knew. It wasn't much and Samai was limited with what he could say, but if he would just help her then he'd be free too when her father destroyed the last surviving head of Hydra. When she opened her eyes back up, he was standing to bring in heavier and warmer clothes for her to change into. Samai piled them up beside her, and began helping her change. It was a Hydra uniform, thick woolen socks and a pair of combat boots. There was also a fur lined jacket and a matching ushanka.

 

The man began helping her change, careful not to let his eyes linger on her exposed skin or his hands. Sarah was relieved to be in cleaner clothes now, but the uniform made her want to rip it up. The Hydra symbol over the breast pocket of her shirt mocked her. The silence was enveloping them, before she asked him a question.

 

“What was the red book your uncle had?” She watched Samai carefully as he focused on lacing her boots. He was being careful not to make them too tight, so they wouldn't aggravate the bandages around her ankles. His lips were firmly shut. More frustration filled her, before Sarah grabbed his chin and tilted his face up to see her. “Samai, please...” She begged one last time, her green eyes pleading him. In the dark depths of his eyes, she saw his own fear and his anger at his Uncle and this whole damn operation.

 

“Tell me what that book was. I promise you, I will make sure you don't get hurt. I will also make sure your family get's protected.” Her voice softened and she placed her hands on both sides of his face. “I need to keep my family safe, I need to know who your uncle's boss is. I need to know how-”

 

“It's a man who I've only once seen.” Samai suddenly confided. “He goes by Sver. He's a large man who was a commander in old Hydra.” Sarah soaked up every word, eagerly encouraging him to continue. “He was a handler for the super soldiers. They aren't able to make any more which is why they want The Winter Soldier back.”

 

“Why can't they create more super soldiers?” Sarah asked, with drawing her hands and trying to adjust her pants around her hips to button up.

 

“The serum was destroyed years ago, in attack, along with scientists.” His eyes looked to the cell doors as he pulled more pain killers out of his pocket and offered them to her. Sarah dry swallowed them and winced at their bitter taste. “They need Soldier to get blood to test, try to put the formula back together.”

 

“Oh.” She breathed out, finally buttoning her pants and pulling her shirt over. “But what about the book in your uncles coat?” Samai met her gaze and slowly helped hoist her to her feet, he chewed his lip for a moment before looking down at her.

 

“It is the handler manual for Winter Soldier. It's got all his trigger words and sequences.” The blood ran from Sarah's face, and she wavered on her feet. It was basically a list of cheat codes to activate James' alter ego.

 

“Is it the only copy?” She asked, holding her breath until Samai nodded and steadied her carefully watching her bad knee.

 

“Yes, Joseph plans on using it once they awaken the Soldier.”

 

The teen shuddered, remembering watching the surveillance footage of James in Winter Soldier mode. He was relentless and dangerous. There was no stopping him, he'd nearly killed her father once.

 

“I _have_ to destroy that book.” She stated, and Samai agreed.

 

“That's the only way your James will ever find peace.” The man looped his arm under hers and began escorting her out of her cell. They made it a few feet, before Sarah stopped him. She gritted her teeth and her eyes were hard with determination.

 

“I need you to get me a gun, one I can conceal. If I get a chance to kill that bastard I'm going to. I don't care if it kills me, I can't let James become their killer again.”

 

The two stood there, and Samai looked conflicted over her request. She knew he didn't wish harm to her, but he didn't want to be under Hydra's thumb either. After a few heart beats, he nodded and promised to do what he could.

 

 

 

“You good?” Bucky asked as he boarded the jet behind Steve. Captain America only met his friend's eyes, before nodding and moving aside to make room for Sam and Clint. Tony was taking the other members of the Avengers on another jet. Everyone had their heads screwed on tight, trying to focus and prepare.

 

Sam had been distant, giving Steve and Bucky some room to reacquaint themselves. Bucky regarded the soldier as a friend, too. But everything was still fuzzy, the doctors has said it might take a while for full clarity to return to him. His eyes, ringed in black grease paint, landed on Clint who's own eyes were still puffy from his mourning over his best friend. Despite the fact they were a team, as Steve had said in the mission briefing, Bucky didn't miss the tension in some of their eyes when they looked him over. Especially Clint, even after they'd fought together all those years ago.

 

His memories might be fuzzy, but he could see ghosts everywhere.

 

“Yeah, I just want to get Sarah back.” Steve said quietly. Sam and Clint's eyes cut to their direction, all four of them donning the same grievous looks.

 

“We're going to burn them to the ground, Cap.” Clint promised, before he touched the belt buckle around his waist. It was Nat's, the red hour glass shape gleaming with a deadly promise of vengeance.

 

“We've got a six hour flight before we get there, gentlemen.” Sam spoke up, finding a jump seat to rest in. “We need to relax and get our heads on our mission.” The black man clenched his jaw, before he closed his eyes and leaned his head back. He put ear buds in his ears, blocking out everything else. Clint didn't do the same, he instead made his way towards the cock pit and found his co pilot. That left the two super soldiers. Steve found himself a seat a few down from Sam, Bucky took the one across from him.

 

The latch came up and the roar of the engines shook the jet. Within minutes they were airborne and on their way, and Bucky couldn't stop fiddling with his hands. His mind was racing over everything that's happened since he woke up. His eyes cast down to his right hand, tilting it and reading the feminine manuscript for probably the millionth time. It was still dark and vivid, Sarah was still alive. It equally bothered and comforted him that already this young woman meant so much to him. He didn't want to consider the possibility of Sarah's name fading on his skin.

 

“Here.” Steve grunted to him. Bucky's eyes lifted and seen his friend holding out a square of paper. Bucky leaned forward and took it in his flesh hand, flipping it over and seeing it was another picture, one he hadn't seen yet. “Nadine gave this to me to give to you.”

 

It was of Sarah, in a beautiful gown and her hair done up beautifully. She was asleep and curled up next to his unconscious body in the bed which had held him for years. The make up under her eyes had ran as if she had been crying, but her hand was firmly entwined with his. His throat tightened and he felt his Adam's apple bobbing in his throat. Sarah was loyal and true, and he knew deep down he'd never deserve what she'd been giving him all this time.

 

He'd met Nadine briefly on their way from the mission briefing. The woman was in her late thirties and she looked fierce despite her short stature. The woman had regarded him kindly enough, but he picked up on the desperation and inner strength when she threw her arms around him. She'd done the same to Steve, who'd held on longer and they shared a quiet moment. Nadine's pretty dark hazel eyes had come back to him, and pulled him down for a kiss to his cheek before she'd walked away.

 

Bucky felt pressure, from himself and everyone else. It didn't bother him too much, but the price was too high if he didn't succeed. He had to keep himself together and make sure the young woman got back to her family. He knew that if everything went sideways, he'd give himself over and pray that his soulmate would forgive him. When his metal hand creaked, he blinked and took a deep breath, un clenching it. The super soldier exhaled and carefully slid the picture into his leather vest over his Kevlar. He'd keep the picture close to his heart, safe and sound.

 

“What are you going to say to her?” Steve asked him suddenly, a small smile on his face. Bucky knew he was trying to lighten the mood before they went into battle. Steve was like that, even though it was his daughter they were planning on rescuing. Bucky licked his lips and sat back, shifting to get comfortable. He gave the Cap a look, and Steve chuckled.

 

“I don't know, Stevie.” He admitted, before trying to ignore the warmth licking up the back of his neck. “Nothing really seems like the perfect thing to say.” A frown took over his lips. “Sorry you were kidnapped to get to me, sorry you've spent seventeen years looking after an immobile murderer.” His serious tone made his friend shake his head before Steve leaned forward and start correcting him.

 

“Sarah doesn't see you as a murderer. She's had years to get to know who the _man_ is, not the soldier.” Steve said with conviction, and Bucky's eye brows furrowed with doubt.

 

“I don't even know who I am, not really. How can she know me?” Bucky licked his lips again and clenched his fists. “I went back under to keep everyone safe, I don't know if my mind can be trusted.” His blue gray eyes swam with unsaid worries, his flesh hand shaking slightly. He wanted to punch something because he didn't want to cry or even be emotional right now. High strung emotions were another side effect they had warned him about.

 

“Hey...” Steve said, standing and taking a seat next to him. He clasped a firm hand on his friends shoulder and squeezed. There was silence in the cabin for a few heart beats, the seriousness of Bucky's concerns sinking in. Steve sighed and withdrew his hand, before he shoulder bumped his friend. “How about start with something more light hearted, something suave.” Then he chuckled and gave him a playfully stern look, “nothing too suave though. Sarah's my little girl.”

 

Bucky gave him another incredulous look before he rolled his eyes and found it within him to give a small smile.

 

“How about, _hey doll_.”

 

Steve's smile was genuine and he nodded, patting his shoulder and inhaling deeply.

 

“That sounds better.”


	7. Hurts Like Hell

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *wipes brow*   
> Whew, someone get me a drink! *fans self*  
> Hope y'all enjoy this. Feedback is always welcome.  
> xoxox

“ _Dreams fight with machines_  
Inside my head like adversaries  
Come wrestle me free  
Clean from the war  
  
Your heart fits like a key  
Into the lock on the wall  
I turn it over, I turn it over  
But I can't escape  
I turn it over, I turn it over..”

_-Hurts Like Hell by Fleurie_

 

 

 

 

Chapter 6 : Hurts Like Hell

 

 

 

 

Samai fitted Sarah with a metal leg brace to help her walk on her own after they'd been boarded onto the jet. The space was cramped, but they were almost there. Her nerves were on edge as Samai made some adjustments, helping her stand to test it. It held well, taking pressure off her bad knee. As they had boarded, he'd slipped a pistol into the pocket on the inside of her coat. It's weight was a comfort and a sword above her head. It took every bit of her will power not to be irrational and open fire on the aircraft.

 

Samai seemed to sense this, because he'd hover closer and give her these looks. Over and over she tried plans out in her head. But every time she felt her stomach tighten and a wave of nausea hit her. There were too many what if's. She had no idea how her father and the team could do this sort of thing all the time. To have to make a decision so weighty. Her nerves were shot and she felt as if she would go mad. But her father always told her to trust her instincts in situations where she found herself unsure. When she was in doubt.

 

Sarah knew there was one thing she was a hundred percent certain of, Hydra would never get their hands on James again. She'd die to ensure this if she had to. That alone lit a fire inside her, which helped cull the shakiness in her body. A man announced something over the intercom, before Samai leaned over and translated.

 

“Ten minutes until we land. Hope you're ready.” His warm breath fanned over her face, and she nodded to him. The men around them began rising to their feet and preparing. There were so many guns and things she knew could easily kill someone. “Breathe.” He added to her, and Sarah inhaled sharply. She hadn't noticed she'd held her breath.

 

To her displeasure, Joseph came to them and began telling her what she was to do.

 

“You don't move until I say, understand?” He asked her calmly, getting her nod in understanding. “Don't fret, child. You will be home before you know it.” With that, he walked over to a rather large man and started speaking Russian.

 

The jet began shaking and the engine's roar became quieter. Gravity seemed to readjust itself before everything shook, then everything went still. A red glow bathed everyone as a door hissed and began lowering. Samai stood and gently took Sarah's hand, helping to hoist her up from her seat. The layers protected her from the dry, icy winds swarming inside. It was a numbing coldness she'd never felt before. It was seeping into her bones before the group began moving forward onto a snowy and flat tundra. The darkness was nearly blinding, but the snow seemed to reflect the moon. Despite the situation, it was beautiful.

 

“Move!” Joseph barked out, and everyone started shuffling forwards against the howling wind. Sarah leaned in closer to Samai, and closed her lips over her chattering teeth.

 

“Look!” Samai hissed, pointing to the sky. Ahead of them in the dark sky, was the lights of an approaching aircraft. Sarah's heart stuttered, her father was here. Her family was here. Her eyes were darting around, knowing here was thirteen of them. They had guns and other weapons, but she knew her father had taken on worse.

 

“Promise me Samai, you'll stay out of danger.” Sarah whispered to him. He was quiet for a moment, before he gave her a small smile.

 

“No more than you, I promise.”

 

Sarah rolled her eyes, but squeezed his arm. Joseph marched them about twenty more yards before ordering them to stop as the Avengers Jet landed. It was sleek and dark, only shining where it's light's reflected off it's surface. A door on the side swung up and she could barely make out who was filing out. There were three, and the closer they got, the quicker her heart beat. In the front was her father, dressed in his Captain America uniform. His shield was cautiously on his back, and in tow was Sam and Clint. Oh, Clint. Sarah's heart sputtered, he had to be devastated over Natasha...

 

“Captain.” Joseph greeted him, and her father's eyes scanned their group until his eyes found her. His eyes gave her a quick scan, lingering only just a second on her braced leg. “Samai!” The man barked, and Samai carefully helped Sarah over to beside his uncle. She went without struggle, meeting her father's eyes. I'm okay, she tried to tell him silently with a look. He seemed to pick up on it, because he gave her the most subtle of smiles.

 

“You still agree to our arrangement, then?” Steve asked, voice sounding as cold and firm as the wind beating against them all. But he looked firm and unmovable. Sam and Clint held fast, as well. They both had their weapons. Clint's bow was across his back, and Sam's Falcon equipment was on and ready.

 

“Yes, have you brought my asset?” Joseph sounded dangerous as his hand clamped down on Sarah's forearm. She groaned in protest, but kept her voice low. She adjusted her footing and forced herself to relax. The gun would be reachable to her left hand, and she wouldn't need to be a perfect shot at close range. Her eyes skirted over to the opening in Joseph's coat, she could see the red of the book peeking out at her. She could grab it and run, hoping her father got to her before a bullet did.

 

Steve nodded, touching his ear and requesting for him to be brought out. Even though Sarah knew that she was going to make sure he didn't get taken again, fear laced itself inside her. Her eyes jotted to the plane, watching as two figure carried a gurney out. As the men got closer, she realized James was on the gurney. His eyes were closed, and he was dressed in the suit she'd only seen him in when she'd watched the footage of him in action. All black, and the gleam of his metal arm made her breath hitch in her chest. She'd never seen him in person with his mechanical arm...

 

“Good, good. Now send him over and I will hand over your daughter, Captain.”

 

“I don't think so.” Steve countered, motioning to the men who were holding James up. “We send them over at the same time.”

 

Sarah was watching her father, his steely resolve was comforting but she was starting to wonder if he'd actually do this without a plan. But his blue eyes found her green ones, and his eyebrow arched. He did have a plan. More knots in her stomach formed, knowing that it was too risky to do nothing.

 

“Fine.” Joseph gave, snapping his fingers at Sarah. “Go on.”

 

She was starting to panic. She needed to get him closer to her father before she tried to retrieve the red book. Clint would have him shot before he could blink. So she carefully let go of Samai and took a deep breath, allowing herself to fall over. She made a show of being in pain, letting tears well in her eyes. Samai reached for her, but she grabbed onto the coattails of Joseph.

 

“Help me across?” She asked the old man. Joseph wanted to refuse, but when the men with the gurney stopped moving, he gave her a curt nod. His gloved hands lifted her, before he held her arm and began escorting her forward. Sarah was gauging the distance, wondering how accurate his soldiers would be in such darkness. But if she could see, surely they could too. Each step that crunched under them, brought her closer to her father. It also brought James closer to this animal.

 

When they were mere feet from meeting in the middle, Joseph let her go and she stumbled forward. The gurney was right there, James' face was relaxed and perfect. There was his signature black paint around his eyes. Her heart bottomed out as the two men carrying him stopped, gently setting him down. Her feet stopped, and the teen couldn't move. Her eyes warmed with tears as she gazed at his handsome face, in dire need of a shave. A strangled sob escaped her as she reached for him.

 

“Sarah.” Her father called to her, distracting her for just a second. Steve stood there, feet planted and his face strained as he motioned for her to go to him. “Come on, sweetheart.” He urged her, unable to hide his desperation. She fought the urge to seek him, bury herself in his comfort. No, she had a mission of her own. So, she cleared her throat and turned to look at Joseph. Her voice breaking.

 

“Can I say goodbye to him, please?” She braced for rejection, but instead, the man nodded and waited. Sarah gave a grateful sad smile, before she hobbled to James' side. She struggled to get onto her knees, biting back a cry of pain. She wasted no time in ripping her gloves off, shakily reaching for his face. James was warm, and a jolt of electricity flew through her. Her breath hitched as she leaned down to place a kiss on his forehead. “He's not taking you anywhere.”

 

The instincts she'd always been told to listen to kicked in, and she knew now was the time. Her back was to her captor, she was just a vulnerable girl. The emotionally strung moment she was suspended in was the perfect distraction. Carefully she reached into her pocket and slid her hand around the weapon. The metal was as warm as her body and she slowly pulled the hammer back. Her one hand remained on James, taking comfort in his body heat. She slowly began pulling the gun out, but then something happened that blindsided her.

 

James' bottom lip twitched. Her eyes were wide as she held her breath, wondering if she'd just imagined it. She exhaled sharply, going to finish pulling the gun out when his jaw clenched. Her body began to shake, and the teen whimpered.

 

“James?” She kept her voice low, but she got a response. His flesh hand was lying limp beside her before his fingers moved and wrapped around the material of her coat. Tears poured from her, but she had to focus. He was awake. James was awake...

 

“That's enough, girl. Go on!” Joseph barked. Sarah flinched, knowing it was now or never. She sucked in a breath and licked her lips, tearing her eyes off her soul mate.

 

“Okay.” She answered, wobbly getting to her feet. She met her father's eyes, knowing he'd see the gun any second. His expression would give her away. So she waited and side stepped, pretending to almost fall. Her voice cut through the wind as she hoped James could hear her. “On one, James...” He was her soul mate, her trust in him was unflinching already.

 

His mouth pursed.

 

“ _Three_...”

 

His eye lids squeezed tighter.

 

“ _Two_...”

 

His flesh hand twitched.

 

“ _One_.” She growled out before she blinked and spun around fast. At that exact moment, James shot up to his feet and dove for her. She brought the gun up and began squeezing the trigger. As the third bullet left the barrel of the pistol, she was tackled to the ground as returning fire started. Her head swam as her ears rang, but she was encased with warmth. A shudder left her as a cold hand cradled the back of her neck and her nose was buried in long brown hair. A thump hit him and he grunted, Sarah gasped when she realized he'd been hit by a bullet. Her free hand gripped his vest and she pulled him close. The super soldier rolled with her, making her stomach turn. Their backup forces began firing back and the sound of an incoming plane whooshed through the sky.

 

Suppressive fire was delivered from above which provided them temporary cover. James inhaled deeply, pulling away long enough to push Sarah's hair out of her face and give her a worried look. The air between them warmed instantly and she couldn't help but grin at him while she blinked tears out of her eyes. He shook his head and placed his warm lips to her forehead.

 

“ _Hey doll_.”

 

The gurgle of emotion that spilled out of her was embarrassing but she didn't care. She just hugged him tightly and breathed him in. But then there was an explosion and she was jolted back into the hell breaking open around them.

 

The gun fire escalated into a full fledged firefight, they were surrounded by chaos. James was quiet as he gripped her tightly and picked her up, trying to get her to her father. Sarah knew her job wasn't done yet, so she frowned as she went limp and then kicked out. Her knee screamed at her, but James dropped her. She hit the snow hard, and scrambled to her feet. She ducked down and made sure to swerve, then she seen Joseph. He was on his hands and knees, crawling. There was a trail of dark red in the snow behind him. Men were running towards him, but she raised the gun and fired with her right hand. The men stopped running. They fell over. Sarah ignored the horror she felt, knowing she had to get that red book.

 

Someone was coming up on her and fast, and she pushed herself. Within feet of Joseph, she slid to a stop beside him. Sarah's gun was empty, so she wielded it like a hammer and struck him across the face. His head jerked to the side, blood bursting from his nose with an unhealthy crunch. She flipped his coat open and yanked the red book out. Joseph tried reaching for her, but she was yanked up before his hands could enclose on her. An angry growl left her as she cast him one last glower.

 

“YOU _CAN'T_ HAVE _HIM_!”

 

“SARAH!” Her father screamed for her, coming up beside her and James, protecting them with his shield. Warm arms encircled her, picking her up. She was bounced around as they ran to the plane she'd seen them come off of. They were half way there when Sarah remembered Samai.

 

“I can't leave Samai!” She cried out, reaching over James' shoulder towards the direction of the Hydra group. But, to her horror, everyone who'd been in that group was laying in the snow. Her eyes searched the darkness, her heart breaking when she seen the man who'd aided her laying dead just feet from his uncle. A sob erupted from her as she shook her head and screamed. “Oh, God...” Her voice broke as Clint and Sam came up behind them, pushing them on board before shutting the door hastily. The engines fired up, and the gravity pushed her spine together before she was deposited into her father's arms.

 

She'd promised him. He was still so young and had such great potential. He'd died.

 

“Sarah...baby...” Steve choked out, wrapping her in his arms and squeezing her. The teen was going into shock, shaking badly. Her eyes were so cold, her nose was cold. But the smell, that aftershave and mint smell. It called her out of her panic and numbness. It was familiar and meant safety. Slowly, she let the book drop out of her hands before she cried out and came to life. Her arms went around Steve's neck as she fell into him.

 

“Daddy..” She croaked, letting go of the horrors she'd endured for however long she'd been a captive. The layers on her felt so heavy, but she ignored it as Steve settled on his knees as he cradled her close. He'd not held her like this since she was a small child, but she didn't care.

 

“I was so scared I'd lose you.” He confessed, kissing her forehead and temple over and over again, unashamed of the tears which dripped down onto her face. Sarah nodded, holding onto him tighter.

 

“I'm so sorry...” She hiccuped, pulling away to look him in the face.

 

“For what?” He asked, disbelieving she had anything to apologize for. But her big green eyes were blood shot, her face healing. Faded bruises littered her tanned skin, her lip scabbed over. The young woman was a heart broken mess.

 

“Natasha, I wasn't able to do anything...” Sarah's body shook as she went to lean away, but when she went to grab her face, she noticed the gun was still in her head. There were specks of blood all over her, blood on the gun. A wave of nausea hit her and she bent over to her side a retched. Stomach acid filled her nose as she heaved violently.

 

“Get me a medic! She's going into shock!” Steve bellowed out like a lion. Despite her vomiting, he scooped her up and held her close. Sarah was too far gone in her grief, she didn't notice everyone standing by, in tears, watching her fall apart in her father's arms. The medic crouched down with a syringe and quickly injected her with something strong to knock her out. Within seconds, she was immobile.

 

James hovered by close, watching the rise and fall of Sarah's chest. It was steady and she was completely out. Her mind was still and he was comforted knowing she was in total darkness. Steve was beside her on the floor, her hand in his. His eyes were ringed with red as he stared at the gun that was still firmly in her other hand. She was covered in splatters of blood, her blonde hair streaked with it. James felt his heart sputtering and making his nerves feel weird. He just kept thinking about her large green eyes staring into his. The smile she'd given him. How...relieved she was to see him. It touched him more than anything else had in years.

 

But there was something very disturbing about seeing the gun in her hand. She looked so small and fragile asleep, but he knew she was strong. He'd seen it. Sarah had managed to get away from him and shot her way to Joseph. His eyes went to the red book on the floor and he picked it up, before sitting down on her other side and gently taking the empty pistol from her. Steve's attention went to him, as he wiped his face and cleared his throat.

 

“What is that, Buck?” The man's voice was raspy and hoarse. James felt a cold chill creep up his spine as he opened the book before setting the gun in his lap. It was his manual. Before him was his file, and all the information Hydra had on him. There was a list of his trigger words and the experiments done to him. Fear shot through him for a moment, wondering if by reading the words if it would flip his switch. To his relief, it didn't. He couldn't help but allow a few tremors to ripple through him. The soldier licked his lips, handing it over to Steve.

 

“It's the handler's manual for me. Has everything documented.”

 

Steve took it, and flipped it open. A few minutes passed, and Steve's face paled again. His jaw clenched and he looked at his daughter. There was an expression that crossed his face, before he shook his head. A fresh tear leaked out of his eye and he groaned out.

 

“Sarah wasn't about to let them take you, obviously she had her own plan.” Steve sounded equal parts frustrated, horrified and proud. James gave him a nod, unsure of how he should be feeling about it. He was beside himself that she had been willing to put herself in harm's way to retrieve this book. He was angry that she'd thought so little of herself, she had so much to live for. He was a murderer, a soldier. Being in harms way and taking life was his job, not hers.

 

“Why would she risk it?” James asked as his eyes fell on her sleeping face. The men were quiet before Steve touched Sarah's hair, then lifted her small hand to his lips to kiss.

 

“Because when you love someone you don't think twice about dying to make sure they stay safe.”

 

For the rest of the flight back to New York, James didn't say anything. He never took his eyes off his girl, he remained by her side. Steve let him carry her into the Tower, and the team ran offense as they got her into the surgery room. Steve had to drag him outside, only allowing himself to take a breath when the surgeon came out hours later saying her knee was properly fixed and she'd be in recovery for a few days.

 

James sighed with relief as he watched Steve and Nadine hug, grateful their girl was home and safe. He wasn't spared any, finding himself wrapped up in Nadine's arms which were vice like as she profusely thanked him and kissed his cheeks. The whole Avengers team waited for her to be moved into their recovery room, everyone was grateful to have their favorite kid safely home. It told James that she must be a hell of a girl to inspire this much loyalty. His happiness was quickly being out weighed by guilt though, he was sure that if he'd not been such a monster then she'd never be in this situation. He felt unworthy of such a woman like Sarah Rogers.

 

 

_“How can someone do something like that to someone?” She asked, huge tears spilling down her cheeks as she curled around her pillow. The video on her tablet was paused, as her father rubbed her back. She'd just turned fifteen and Steve had agreed to let her see some of the footage they had found of James' Winter Soldier days. This video was of him when he'd attacked him, Nat and Sam. James had just shot Natasha. Of course it had upset Sarah._

 

_“Because Hydra were evil and he was brainwashed and manipulated. The Winter soldier isn't Bucky.”_

 

_Sarah had accepted this with no argument. Her father wouldn't lie._

 

_Then everything changed and she was younger, eating a bag of chips as she was curled up beside a cryo induced James. She'd had a DVD player and TV brought into his room so they could watch movies. The movie was something scary, which she really wasn't supposed to be watching. But, when she got scared, she'd bury in closer to James to feel safe. He was always warm and smelled welcoming._

 

_After that memory she was jolted into the moment when she'd been able to finally look into his gray blue eyes. Her body felt as if she was slipping into the black paint that framed them. The moment she knew everything was going to be different, whether she lived or died. Her fingers gripped him tightly. Then he'd spoke, a handsome sound which coiled in her bones and felt like he was calling her home._

 

_“Hey doll.”_

 

_But her happiness was ripped away from her as she was suddenly holding up the gun, squeezing the trigger. There was so much blood stained snow, the smell of iron in the air, the loud crashing of her heart beat in her ears. Samai's eyes open and fixed ahead of himself, dead. Beside him was Natasha, her eyes sharing that same look that all dead had. Blood was quickly pooling around her, the smell of salty air whipping past her. The roar of gunfire thumping in her chest, the burn of stomach acid in her nose. Then a loud bang jolted her._

 

The young woman grunted as she shot straight up from sleep. She wanted to get out of bed, but she was restrained, and she grunted in frustration. Her leg wasn't budging. She turned her head around, blearily trying to focus before it came in a like a tidal wave. As her eyes seen the cast, suspended up to keep it immobile, she realized she'd been through hell. It hadn't been just a bad dream. Natasha was dead. She'd been kidnapped. Samai was dead. She'd killed people.

 

Like a phantom pain, she could still feel the weight of the gun in her hand. Her chest started expanding rapidly to accommodate for her hyperventilating. A beeping sound started blaring beside her and she struck out at it, knocking a heart monitor over and crying out as her knuckle was sliced open on the metal hooks which held extra leads on it. She felt claustrophobic as her panic heightened, and she tried freeing her leg before the door burst open and she seen her Mom rushing in. Worry etched all over her face, dark bags hanging under her eyes.

 

Then just like that, her panic and will to fight left her drained as Nadine's arms captured her and held her so close. Sarah fell into heavy sobs as she let her mother comfort her, telling her she was home and safe.

 


End file.
